Recently I went on a date, which, although it started off well, ended badly.
The problem was, that early on it became obvious that we had very different personalities. I’m quite stubborn and don’t like being told what to do. Whereas he clearly thought that I needed help to broaden my horizons.
The problems started with the location of the date. He suggested Borough Market and I was happy to go along with that, as I had never been before and thought it would be a nice day out. Whilst walking over there, he discovered that I am vegetarian. Although he didn’t say anything negative about it, his feelings became clear throughout the day. Many of the stalls at the market sell meat, not just every day meat, but stuff like venison and kangaroo.
Even though I don’t eat meat, I don’t mind other people eating it; I’m not going to lecture them and say they shouldn’t, so I didn’t think there would be a problem. So, we walked over to the first stall. As soon as my date struck up conversation with the stallholder he pointed at me and said, very loudly, ‘Sorry, she’s a vegetarian.’ I chuckled politely assuming that it was a joke. I’m used to people joking about it; I told a colleague about this date and he said, ‘but I take the piss out of you for being vegetarian all the time.’ But office banter isn’t the same thing.
You see, my date’s comment wasn’t a one-off, he said the same thing at EVERY SINGLE STALL!
The next issue occurred at the cheese stall. Not only am I vegetarian, but to the shock of many, I also don’t like cheese. Okay, I’ll admit it, I’m fussy. Obviously my date didn’t take that revelation very well.
Him: Try some cheese.
Me: I don’t like cheese.
Him: You might like it.
Me: I don’t like it. Why don’t you try some?
He then picked out the mouldiest, smelliest cheese on the table.
Him: I don’t even like that cheese and I’m going to eat it anyway.
Him: Go on, you have some.
Me: I’m okay, thanks.
Him: It might be the best experience of your life.
If eating a mouldy bit of cheese was the best experience of my life, then my life must be pretty shit. So, he ate the cheese and couldn’t hide the look of disgust from his face.
Me: You didn’t like it then?
Him: No, but I’m glad I tried it.
I could see he was an ‘I’ll try anything once’ kind of guy. But I’m not that kind of girl.
When I was at uni I used to read every single book to the end, even if I hated it. When I got a full-time job, I realised that I didn’t have time for that sort of thing. Why waste time doing something unenjoyable, when I could do something I really loved?
When we sat down for a drink, our table was squashed up against another where two female American tourists were sitting. Hearing their conversation it was clear that they were in a similar predicament. One lady wanted to try new things and her friend was quite happy to stick with what she knew. I leant over. ‘Can we swap?’ I asked. I looked at the lady who was like me. ‘Can I go round with you?’ We all laughed, and no one realised that I was being serious.
My date gave me mixed signals throughout.
At some points I was sure he liked me, at other times it was clear that he didn’t. Halfway through I knew the whole things was a write-off, which, surprisingly, I was fine with. I didn’t want to be with someone when I knew it would take so much effort to make them happy. However, my date obviously changed his mind because he continued to text me, but it was the kiss of death when he said, ‘I’m going to bring you out of your shell.’
‘I’m not in a shell.’ I replied.
Quite frankly, that pissed me off. I have reached an age where I know who I am, and mostly, I’m happy with that. If someone doesn’t think I’m good enough for them, then we should move on; I don’t need someone who wants to change me. He shouldn’t want to settle for second best, and I certainly don’t either.
So, the moral of the story is, be you and be proud.
If someone isn’t happy with that, then move on. We should be surrounded by people who like us for who we are, not who they want us to be. And, if you don’t like mouldy cheese, don’t eat it!
If you enjoyed this post, why not check out ‘Suzie Parkus Answers Your Dating Questions’?