Guy Talk

‘I kid you not, my mate from Canada sent me this one and it’s about as big as my arm.’ said Jake.

Passing over a his phone to Dom who was the other side of me. We were at work and I was standing between my two male colleagues who were showing each other pictures of shit. No, not hypothetical shit. Real, actual, legitimate turd pictures.

This is my life now, I thought. Shit.

(Image via)

I thought maybe Jake’s behaviour was just an anomaly. The only thing left to consider was how Dom would react…

‘Aww mate you ain’t seen nothing yet?’ To my amazement Dom then produced his phone and started parading a horrendous picture of someone who had shat on the toilet seat of tpub he works in. It was horrendous.

I was pretty scandlised by the whole conversation to be honest. I mean, don’t get me wrong I’ve had pretty lengthy conversations about poo before. One of my friends and I always end up on the subject – have no idea why[????]. But the boys left nothing to the imagination. They actively archived pictures of the stuff on their phones.

I don’t get guy talk AT ALL. I mean who takes pictures of their own shit? Who takes a picture of someone else’s? Can you imagine if I sent a picture of my poo to one of my girlfriends. They’d extradite me. And quite honestly I wouldn’t be exactly thrilled if one of them send me a picture either.

‘So what do guy’s talk about?’ I queried to the boys as we stood around in a Crepe Assembly after work. My colleague Joss had joined the conversation. ‘I dunno, poo, boobs, bums, legs… you know Yaz, ‘lad’ stuff’’ – I had a feeling they were having me on.

So what do guys really talk about? Sport, movies, music, business… what about love?

I couldn’t help feeling there was a lot more they weren’t letting on.

I get it. There are some things we can only really share and empathize with amongst our own sex. I don’t mean that boys and girls can’t share stuff to each other. Of course we can.  I do believe that men and women are made to compliment each other. But this doesn’t mean we are the same. We’re not.

Chapter 5 in the infamous relationship bible Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus explains simply:

‘We speak different languages; take the time necessary to translate what your partner really wants to say.’ 

Now this is all well and good but sometimes who can really be bothered? It’s exhausting man. Often there is SO much misinterpretation. Then someone gets offended, usually the girl, then guys go into their caves. Stress. Wahh wah wahhh!

Sometimes we just need to hang with our home-girls/home-boys because in our own company we don’t need a bloody translation dictionary.

Just like ‘girl talk’ I think there is something sacred about ‘real guy talk’. The kind of talk that’s beyond boobs and tits.  

Back to the afterwork crepe assembly: ‘…And occasionally we talk about our feelings’ Joss gave me a little grin. I got the hint. Maybe I’d never know what guy’s truly talk about. But you know what? I’m cool with that.

Have a great week peeps!

x

Tags: girl talk guy talk humour relationships society

Categories: Love & Relationships Yazmin Joy