The Benefits of a Fantasy Man

On Saturday night in early September three singletons met up on the East side of London for wine and a catch up. Now I don’t care what any one says but put a couple of single women in a room, give them wine, dim lighting and Maltesers and eventually THEY WILL start talking about men. It’s just science. The Bechdel test can kiss my puny ass because in reality that’s just what most chicks like to do! In my opinion this is no way an anti-feminist activity or an undermining of our sex. We could talk about something else but talking about men is just too much fun.

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Anyway, on this occasion we weren’t talking about just any sort of man, we were talking about the elusive fantasy man.

Now in my opinion, we are all entitled to have a fantasy man (or woman). Usually a fan-man is some kind of uber hot celebrity figure – who we will probably never meet in real life. The conversation went a little something like this…

‘Chace Crawford is HOT.’ I said, swigging my Chardonnay.

‘Hey that’s my fantasy man’ my friend Rachel replied. ‘But we can share if you want.’ 

I was slightly offended by this. Share? I thought. I can’t share Chace with you!?

‘Pfffft okaaay’ I replied, rather reluctantly. ‘We can share. But if we actually meet Chace Crawford I might have to push you under a bus.’  

I WAS JOKING. Obviously [??]. But later that night, as we huddled together on the sofa in our pjs watching Henry Cavill’s Dunhill fragrance campaign for the forth consecutive time in silent appreciation, I couldn’t help but ponder: Where is the line between healthy fantasy and bunny boiler?

Here are the signs to look out for when you suspect an unhealthy obsession is afoot and it’s time to turn cold turkey on your fantasy man crush….

1. When you’re celebrity crush finally gets a girlfriend – you cry. Not healthy.
2. You cyber stalk your fantasy man instead of sleeping. Put the phone down Miss Crazy.
3. You hear your celebrity crush is in town and deliberately go to the same area in the hope that you might bump into them in the hope they will suddenly realize you are the girl they have been waiting for.
4. When your celebrity crush gets married – you are genuinely upset.
5. When you scour Hello Magazine or US Weekly – just in case their relationship is on the rocks and they are getting divorced.
6. If you are happy your celebrity crush is getting a divorce.

If you have any of the above symptoms I strongly recommend you start a new art class or take up Tango dancing.

That being said I personally think that it’s perfectly agreeable to have a fantasy man if:

1. You know it is a fantasy. 
2. You are trying to get over an ex- and this is helping you move on. 
3. Your fantasy man plus their media repoir does not infringe on your emotional state in ANY WAY and does not effect how you live your real life in any way, shape or form.
4. You understand that the celeb you fantasize about is just a projection of your ‘perfect man’ and is in no way a true reflection of the person’s true life/personality. 
5. You know deep in your heart that no-one is perfect in real life and that you should not measure the real men into your life in comparison to your fantasy man.  

If you have gone through a horrendous break-up I would heartily encourage getting a fantasy man for a short while as he will a) not shit on your feelings. And b) not give you an STI. Both of which may be imminent if you go looking for a REAL man to ease the pain of your broken heart.

More than anything, having a celebrity crush or fantasy man, is joyously fun fodder for a night in with your girlfriends. It doesn’t involve real feelings or drama or pain. The fantasy man is just fantastic because he is just that: a fantasy.  

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As we oooed and ahhed over Mr Cavill, it struck me that there was nowhere else I wanted to be that Saturday night, than on the sofa, in my pj’s with my girls…

(If you are having a bad day it’s totally acceptable to watch this a couple of times.)

Have a great week peeps!

Yaz x

Tags: advice celebrity crush Chace Crawford Fantasy Man friendship Henry Cavill relationships

Categories: a little piece of joy Empowerment: Man! I feel Like a Woman! Love & Relationships Yazmin Joy