October 22, 2013 - Written by: Emily Macdonald

Can the Modern Woman Have it All?

Do you have a 10 year plan? A bucket list for life, you’d like a good career, a wonderful man, maybe a couple of children. You haven’t figured out the details yet? Maybe you’re still trying to find your mister right…. Maybe your off the beaten track somewhere thinking, I would make a plan if I had the foggiest idea where I was at the moment, I knew I should have drawn a map before I set off…

One thing is for sure, and I’m sorry to burst your bubble but the fairy-tale doesn’t stop at happily ever after. One assumes Cinderella didn’t want to work; she had 10 years of cleaning up after some fairly obnoxious family members and earned a pretty cushy life…… But how do we know that she didn’t spend two years in matrimony only to turn to Prince Charming one morning over crumpets and say ‘Honey, there must be more than this’? Maybe she started an OU degree, maybe she got pregnant…. I can tell you something now, that little princess didn’t try and have it all, because truth be told, you can’t have both!!! You can however, give it a bloody good go!

So, you’ve worked hard, you’re at the start of your career, you’ve found your very own Mr Darcy, then comes the realisation that you’d quite like to have a couple of children to run around the grounds of Pemberley ….. You think logically, can you afford children, do you have the space? You can’t help but throw the Mothercare in the shopping centre more than a quick glance, (when did that appear?) You may even discuss baby names with your significant other (half in jest) maybe your friends are starting to pop out children. You wonder whose eyes they will have… you secretly start planning their nursery.

But wait: their nursery?? Where will you put the home office?? Can you work crammed into the living room surrounded by family paraphernalia? Can you ever work again??

Close your eyes, no seriously, work with me here…. I’d like you to imagine what the ideal mother is what does she do? I bet she bakes cakes, goes on nature trails, visits to the farm and reads bedtime stories….. Now picture the ideal career girl: she works late and parties hard, she dresses to impress, she oozes power sophistication and poise….. She does not have baby sick on the shoulders of all her jumpers and a deep sense of guilt that that blog article means sacrificing a little family time…

I’m lucky, my dream is to write, after all if JK Rowling parked up her daughters pushchair in a small café each day and was able to pen the greatest story known to man (authors opinion, no way reflective of the views of alilijoy and the wider community you know it’s true though), then surly I can too right? How easy is it to build a career and not raise attention starved children, or push you husband away because you’re typing each evening, shouldn’t you be packing the lunches for the next day or ironing the school uniform…. I’d like to let you into my world a few times a month, open up to you about the eternal struggle of a woman (ok slightly dramatic). How can you fit in at the school gates and how can you prevent being left out in the cold career wise? I don’t always get the balance right, I don’t pretend to know the answers but I hope I can give you some hope…. Having children doesn’t signal the end of your career, and having a career doesn’t mean you can’t be the best mother possible for your little ones….

Oooooh and guess what? Cinderella passed her degree and popped out a couple of kids, she’s now working for a top children’s fashion label… and she feels pretty darn empowered!!!