October 7, 2013 - Written by: Yazmin Joy

Why I Need to Drop the F-Bomb

Okay I’m going to drop the F-bomb.

Remember when Natalie Portman challenged ‘feminist’ characters in Hollywood in her interview with Elle UK and Sinead O’Connor openly goaded Miley Cyrus to stop ‘prostituting herself’?

Yes Miley, stop it.

Stop stop stoooop!

There is a lot of stigma attached to being feminist, and I think that the negativity surrounding the word itself has put a lot of people off. But let’s clear some stuff up…

1. You DON’T have to join Pussy Riot or burn your bras to be feminist!

In fact I like bras. Especially lacy ones.

2. Also being feminist does not mean you don’t like men.

Some of my heroes and greatest influences are dudes… John Maxwell… Jesus… Will Smith.

I think Caitlin Moran hit the nail on the head in her book How to be a Woman when she said that men and women should be feminist. Yes! We should! Together!

Being feminist, in my view, is purely subscribing to the belief that men and women are of equal value in society.

That’s literally it.

But if this is the case why does being a feminist really have to be such a big deal?

One of my friends quite rightly made the point:

‘to be honest… all people should be feminist by default, there shouldn’t have to be a name for it.’

That would be lovely wouldn’t it? In a magical, alternative world where everyone was equal. But the reality is all human beings are NOT equal. Women’s oppression is just more subtle and behind-the-scenes nowadays.

People generally hate the word feminist. They think of protests, they think of angry ladies stomping around with signs and big hats, they think of aggression. But I think feminism is really about the way we think of and regard women in our society.

Last week Natalie Portman challenged the way Hollywood depicts female ‘feminist’ protagonists in her interview with Elle magazine:

‘The fallacy in Hollywood is that if you are making a ‘feminist’ story, the woman kicks ass and wins… That’s not feminist, that’s macho. A movie about a weak vulnerable woman can be feminist if it shows a real person that we can empathise with.’

I think Natalie Portman is right! Being feminist can also be about acknowledging vulnerability and emotion. Portman is sexy, smart, a mother and an ambassador for feminist women who don’t want to compromise their femininity in order to be a strong woman.

(Image via)

Personally I think its all about people’s values. Society often doesn’t value women enough. Hell, often us women don’t really value ourselves.

When O’Connor spoke out about Cyrus’ recent exploits she brought the world’s attention to the fact that many of the celebrity women we look up to today are constructed for a male audience by male industry executives.

‘Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your sexuality in order for men to make money from you. I needn’t even ask the question.. I’ve been in the business long enough to know that men are making more money than you are from you getting naked. Its really not at all cool. And its sending dangerous signals to other young women. Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself. Your body is for you and your boyfriend. It isn’t for every spunk-spewing dirtbag on the net, or every greedy record company executive to buy his mistresses diamonds with.’

Being feminist doesn’t mean you can’t be sexy or be confident in your sexuality – as long as other people are not exploiting you.

On the other end of the scale, there has been a long history of stigma attached to being a housewife. That this is a submissive role. An easy role. That being a housewife is not feminist. I couldn’t disagree more.

The problem is not being a housewife, the problem is that SOCIETY DOESN’T VALUE HOUSEWIVES AND STAY-AT-HOME-MOTHERS. Why do we immediately put more value on the bread winner of the family? These women are raising our future generation of sons and daughters – isn’t that a huge responsibility? Society should support women who stay at home to raise their children. That is what feminism should be about.

I have no particular desire to taste my own menstral blood… sorry Germain Greer, but I think Caitlin Moran is right… we should all be able to declare (without shame) that we are feminist (including you blokes!).

Many of my girls on this site love domesticity, cooking & home-making but this doesn’t mean they are not feminist. Figures like Natalie Portman, Sinead O’Connor and Caitlin Moran are paving the way for today’s Y-Generation by speaking out and showing that you can be whoever you want to be AND feminist at the same time. Now that’s fucking cool!

Have a great week peeps.

If you enjoyed this post why not check out I’m Not Your Baby: Fighting Back Against Street Harassment?