How to Beat the Christmas Blues

A few days ago, I had a Bridget Jones moment. I know you know what I mean; we all have them.

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Those times when all you want to do is sit in front of the telly wrapped up in your duvet, while you eat ice cream and drink far too much wine. Not exactly a healthy activity for a solitary young woman who has recently, undeniably, joined the “mid-twenties” club. There’s that overwhelming despair at being alone and the frantic worry that, given your recent track record, you might be alone for a very long time.

There’s no specific recipe for a Bridget Jones moment: they are sprung upon us by our subconsciouses in all sorts of situations – whether we’re in a relationship, single, surrounded by friends or chilling with family – and at all times of year. But they seem to arise on significant occasions that we are made to think should be particularly “special”, like, I dunno, graduation, birthdays, and – you guessed it – Christmas.

Unfortunately, the festive period is pretty bad in the way of depression. You can bet your natural Christmas tree that there are thousands of people “celebrating” Christmas drunk and depressed, spending their Christmas isolated and entirely alone. So while I may shed a few tears of anguish that I haven’t got a boyfriend to wake up next to on Christmas morning, I know there are so many people who have it worse off.

Depression statistics are particularly high over Christmas, which could have a lot to do with being bombarded with media representations of perfect families and wholesome relationships. I’m sure you’ve probably already seen the Holderness family’s viral video, which “makes your family look lame”.

All this media coverage is like putting a lid on a pressure cooker: while at any other time of year we put a brave face on and appreciate our relationships for what they are, Christmas advertising gets us questioning our own personal relationships, creating enormous self-doubt as we compare ourselves to these pictures of perfection.

Friends who have worked for Samaritans tell me that Christmas is the busiest time of year for depressed phone calls from people threatening to commit suicide. But in fact the suicide rates are higher in January – in the post-Christmas slump when that once-welcome week-early paycheck just hasn’t stretched, we’re depressed about having consumed too much cheese and wine, and can’t envision when our next holiday is going to come around.

We’ve probably all seen the tube adverts for Shelter – and if you haven’t yet, you will now – that make us feel guilty about spending our money on silly numbers of presents rather than all the poor homeless children on the streets this Christmas. That guilt, though, quickly gets put aside as we step out into the chill and back to the grind of buying things we can’t afford. Try to think, just for a moment, how awful it would feel to wander the streets, not knowing where your next meal might come from, on Christmas eve, while everyone else is having a merry old time in the pub or snuggled down in front of their 22 inch screens watching Elf.

My remedy for this, however minor, has been visiting the local Shelter charity shop in Crouch End of a work lunchtime. I have spent £28 there in the past 10 days (a selfish birthday treat or two, but it’s great for Christmas presents too). Or eating one of those Marks and Spencer Christmas treats – the ones in red packaging – from which a percentage goes to Shelter. It doesn’t – and shouldn’t – allay the guilt, or grief, we feel about being a little more privileged than others this Christmas. But it does help, in some small way.

I know this is probably not your ideal read two days before Christmas, as you’re doing those last bits of present shopping and trying to make sure you’ve got enough food in the house for everyone who might possibly visit, but I think it’s important we think of those who are less fortunate than we this Christmas.

Boxing Day was traditionally a day for packing up all our leftovers and anything unwanted (or not needed) and giving them away. We could revive that tradition, in an abstract way perhaps. Giving away a little of what you’ve got in excess after Christmas – perhaps not buying that extra bottle – won’t hurt, will it?

The holidays are a time for joy. And there is no shame in persuing joy, for you, your family, friends and any relationships you are involved in. But let’s try to spread a lil joy among those who could really benefit from it. Don’t rely on the duvet, chocolate and wine – let generosity cheer you up this Christmas!

Tags: Bridget Jones christmas inspiration relationships Samaritans Shelter

Categories: From the Heart Love & Relationships