10 Reasons I Might Be Acting Like a Douchebag
The other day I was annoyed. Really fucking annoyed! 6pm on a Tuesday night waiting for the tube on the crowded platform. Sweaty, dirty, fed-up, frustrated, stressed, cramped in a confined space… I couldn’t even read properly coz someone’s armpit was in my face! There are times when I must ask myself: WHAT IS MY LIFE?!?! This was one of those times. Then this guy wallops me with his briefcase. DAHHHHHHHH! For a very brief moment I felt like taking his leather-bound luggage and throwing it under the incoming train. (Am I a bad person?)
(Image via)
When I got home, had eaten, relaxed and got into my nice comfy bed, I pondered my bout of frustration earlier that evening. Was I being a douchebag? (By douchebag in this context I am referring to disgruntled, inappropriate or antagonistic behaviour commonly seen in assholes.) And if yes, why? Most of the time I am pretty tolerant. I listen to the sweet sweet tunes of Justin Timberlake on the train and peacefully zone out.
In the following days I began to observe douchebag behaviour in others and I have come to the conclusion that I am more likely to act like a douchebag if I am one of the following…
1. I am tired.
I think its fair to say when someone is tired their patience is truly tested and this can lead to douchebag behaviour.
(Image via)
2. I am hungry.
I have often likened my father’s behaviour to that of a foraging forrest bear, snuffling in the fridge in search of a tasty snack. You must never disturb the bear when he is hungry. Hungry bears do not make good company. Fed bears do. Stressed on an empty stomach? EAT my dear friend! You will feel much better!
(Image via)
3. I am tired AND hungry.
A combination for disaster – eat and take a break brother/sister!
(Image via)
4. I am hormonal.
Yes, I sometimes feel hormonal AND NEED TO CRY FOR NO REASON. Cut me some slack man!
(Image via)
5. I am competitive.
When someone is competitive it’s remarkable how douche-like behaviour magically appears – people get mean, bad talk their competition and use sabotage to bring down the opponent – NOT GOOD MAN! (But in some circumstances can you use this to your advantage??)
(Image via)
6. I am in fancy dress.
When people dress up in fancy dress they are more likely to act like douchebags. It’s just the law. You lose some of your inhibitions and do things you might not otherwise have the guts to do i.e. act like an asshole.
(Image via)
7. I have the flu.
I’m a sick person: SPOIL ME!
(Image via)
8. I am flirting.
Kids in the playground… yeah that’s what’s happening here!
(Image via)
9. I am stressed.
Nothing worse than being behind on a deadline, running late, feeling the pressure mount! Aghhhhhhhhhhh! Overcome the overwhelming need to punch someone by taking some time out.
(Image via)
10. I am NOT the douchebag. YOU are the douchebag!
Occasionally you might find that you are not the one with the actual problem. You are calm, cool and collective and now someone is getting all up in your grill! Moon walk away from the douche-bag! I repeat, moon walk away!
(Image via)
In life it’s okay to not be perfect. Hey, you’re only human! We all have bad days and are all guilty of acting like a douchebag at some point or another. But I think it is important to be aware that when you’re acting irrational, grumpy, antagonistic or mean you are going to ignite and attract that behaviour in the people around you. How do we stop? We become aware of what triggers this behaviour in ourselves.
I have so much respect for those people who stay focused when they are tired, continue to smile and care for others even though they are feeling sick, have humility when faced with competitors and keep their cool even though they are hormonal.
It’s this kind of composure and ability that defines people’s strength of character and one that I greatly admire and aspire to be like.
So what brings out the douchebag in you? Share it friends!
Have a great week peeps!
Tags: douchebag douchebag jar New Girl self help Stress
Categories: a little piece of joy Mirror Mirror: Self Improvement Yazmin Joy