January 19, 2014 - Written by: Lauren Williams

A Note to Esquire

This week, I was writing an article about Valentine’s dates for a client. The sort of content that is meant to reignite the passion and prove that Valentine’s Day isn’t just a Hallmark Holiday.

As a single girl writing said article, I was happily plotting my night of hibernation with a good book and maybe a FaceTime session with my friend who will be living in Canada. Perfect night in with myself – the person who I spend very little quality time with. Ideal – who needs a man?

And then, I saw red in just one little click. I stumbled across this: Fun Cheap Date Ideas: For the Mistress.

I was outraged, pissed off, and on the verge of throwing my keyboard out of the office window onto the head of an unsuspecting student.

How are people allowed to publish these things? Promoting cheating is vile and disgusting. Suggestions about sleeping with someone behind the back of the “woman you actually love” is everything that is wrong with Esquire.

I’m going to suggest something that may seem a little wild to both the writer of said article, Sarah Z Wexler, and the editor who approved this nonsense: If you love someone, you don’t cheat on them.

WHOA THERE. Really?

Yes. Really.

Needless to say, I had to remove myself from the internet for a little while.

It wasn’t just the unashamedly outrageous thing that was being promoted from one of the largest men’s websites on the planet, but a flood of anger I once felt at an ex boyfriend came washing back. He was on dating sites, cheating sites and seeing a ton of girls behind my back. Eurgh.

My anger was then redirected to the media, and it did get me wondering – if guys read these things, do they assume that it’s OK and acceptable to cheat and lie so long as nobody finds out? Do they think that everyone is doing it and that everyone is OK with it? I mean, if the internet says it’s ok…

A quick little bit of research showed that, in the UK alone, there are 1,300 monthly searches for the phrase “how to cheat on your girlfriend” and 1,600 for the phrase “how to cheat on your wife”. In the world of Google search, that’s not a lot. But take a step back and have a think – that’s 2,900 different men searching for how to cheat on their significant other.

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The mind boggles. And they wonder why every girl they meet has baggage.

I’m putting it out there to Esquire, who claim to be “The Smart Man’s Guide”, that cheating is not big and it’s not clever. It’s disgusting and disrespectful, selfish and riddled in STIs. How about writing about respecting women – actually scrap that, just respecting people in general?

You make me sick.