People Who Get You

One hundred people walk into a bar. The barman looks up and says, “What’ll it be?” I bet you thought that was going to turn into a joke, didn’t you? Betcha did. But no. What I’m about to say is that out of those hundred people, how many do you think will actually click with you? What do you think the chances are of them actually having an impact on your life in some way? How many of those conversations are you going to enjoy? I’d guess 10% at most. Honestly. Okay, let’s break it down like MC Hammer.

Let’s assume, like me, that you’ve met and conversed with thousands of people in your life. You’ve been to parties and concerts and classes and coffee shops. But out of everyone you’ve met, served, slept with, or simply made eye contact with in the street, how many people have stayed with you, swimming around your mind  for discernible hours, months or years? Listen closely, my friend. In life, you walk through a paradox of time trying to find your purpose. Your identity and your goals are clipped onto your shirt like a badge. You wait for something or someone to make sense of your existence, so you can finally figure out why you’re here, right?

Some people will tell you existence is about religion. Others will tell you it’s about achievement. Some might even tell you it’s about fast cars. In fact, some people will swear that their life is all about their Bentley Continental GT (they’re great, but like…). But I’ll tell you that it’s always going to be about one thing: the great people in your life. However, it’s not about the swarming amicable faces you meet, nor is it about the amount. It’s about those few people that get you. Honestly, you’ll only meet about ten in your entire life. They’ll take the form of lovers and family and friends and bosses and dogs and cats. You’ll have a great time with them.

You’ll have hundreds of “friends” though. Friends are quite easy to find if you manage to stick the right expression on your face. But honestly, if you want to know the truth, these people just won’t click with you as you’d like them to. So what’s the difference between those people you keep in your life for companionship and those people who you genuinely have a connection with?

Companionship

A lot of the time, you meet and subsequently stick with people for companionship more than anything else. It could be it’s your first day at college and instead of hiding in your room watching “8 Out of 10 Cats”, you get out there and meet people. So as soon as you see a girl looking less than sour and wearing those cool Docs you couldn’t afford, you head on over and introduce yourself. She’s nice. You both take the same major and she loves The Smiths too. Cool. Also, after the whole “let’s make common ground by talking about our hobbies” is over, you gradually become aware that you may be able to make her laugh. Her name is A and you become lifelong friends based on your shared insatiability towards chai tea lattes, French Bulldogs and saving the whales endeavours.

Over time you build up memories together and get on more relatable ground. She helps you when your French Bulldog dies and you end up taking a road trip down south together. However, after years of friendship, you still can’t shake the feeling that she actually gets you less than your Bulldog did. You feel so god damn alone in her company and you don’t know why. She just doesn’t make you feel alive and warm like she should.

Connection

Remember that time you spotted someone from across the room who did the exact same sarcastic smile as you. You hadn’t even met them yet, but their presence evoked more in you than a Jagermeister shot. Everyone else was staggering around the room, completely oblivious this person existed, yet you just felt like someone closed the door that brought in the cold air. You’re standing there with A who, in reality, does no more for you than waiting for Kate to bring out the royal kid. You finally manage to meet this person and it becomes quite clear that any conversation you’ve had with A was scripted and forced. But with this person- let’s call her K-, you don’t have to think or rehearse or revise because she gets you. She may not like The Smiths or Bulldogs. Other people may not like her but that’s because she’s not a people pleaser. But she is REAL, to you, anyway. You’ll go to that bar and talk to one hundred people, and just when you think you’ll always feel alone, she’ll give you that knowing look, say something witty and sarcastic, and  suggest you get a bottle of red, some macaroons, and go watch “8 Out of 10 Cats”.

 (Image via)

That’s what I’m talking about, folks. I’m talking about that real connection you have with someone that feels like you’ve known them your entire life. If you find someone like that, I promise you they’re in short supply. So, please hang on tight to them and keep them around, for your sake.

Tags: connection friendship meaning people who get you

Categories: From the Heart