Job Interview From Hell: I Should Have Bailed

Newly graduated, I’d been on the dole just a few days when I was invited to interview at a company I’d never heard of before… No job title was given, and I wasn’t sure what “outsource marketing” meant (a thorough googling didn’t enlighten me much further), but I went along, curious, hopeful, and determined it would be good interview “practice”.

The company owner conducted the interview at high-speed, neglecting to provide an explanation of the job. He talked his way round it, promising it would become clear, but giving the impression he was just too busy to care. I must have come across well though (better than Chandler) because later that day I was invited back for a second round interview.

The email said the next interview was at 11am the next day. I should dress in business attire, cancel all other plans and be prepared for adverse weather conditions… successful candidates would be asked to stay until 8pm. Umm… ?

(Image via)

It was mad, but my curiosity had not been quenched. I went back. Returning to their office, I was struck by a lack of professionalism; the interviewer was late, I was left waiting, and – amazingly – there was NOWHERE TO GO TO THE LOO! The receptionist had to “check” before giving me a definite no. This was seeming more like a scam every second.

I was one of only two interviewees on day two (everyone else had probably seen through the thinly veiled desperation of the whole scenario). In my memory, the other candidate was called Gary: greasy, grimy, Gary. Our interviewer, Christian, was a complete sleaze. We were going to be “out of the office” with him all day.

We followed Christian and his lardy, desperate-looking colleague to this guy (let’s go for Dan)’s car. We stood in a wet car park and Christian smoked while desperate Dan cleared the back seat of children’s car seats and food debris. For the sake of a job I didn’t know I wanted, I got into a greasy stranger’s car with three unknown men and no idea where I was being driven…

On arrival, Christian finally explained the first level of the “training scheme” as he was now calling it. The first “stage” was door-to-door sales, i.e. going through a spiel of crap about some charity and trying to persuade unsuspecting people to donate money from their own doorsteps. This was what their website had meant by “outsource marketing” then. Right.

It got to a point at which I had been standing outdoors in the cold and drizzling rain, hadn’t eaten for several hours, was desperate to pee and still didn’t know the full job description. I could see now why they say curiosity killed the cat. It turned out to be a pyramid scheme, working on commission. Door-to-door sales was not only the first few weeks, but the first EIGHT MONTHS.

Imagine doing that, day after day after day, throughout winter. It would be shite even if it wasn’t cold. Not only is rejection incredibly demoralising, but I don’t believe there are enough people IN THE WHOLE WORLD who are stupid enough to do that job, let alone make a decent living out of it. How on earth was desperate Dan making enough to support children, run a car and pay rent?

The time came for me to (politely) turn down this career path. I told Christian I didn’t think it was right for me. He tried to dissuade me, saying I might never get another job offer so good.

I’m sorry, what? You think this is what I want to be doing? Yes, I could be good at this job, I could be brilliant at a million jobs, but I would be bored as hell after two hours. Moreover, I’d rather shoot myself in the foot than commit to working alongside such ignorant, misogynistic dolts for the next year. I didn’t say that. I simply said that I had made up my mind, thanked him for the opportunity, and walked away.

At the time, I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. It’s laughable now, but this experience shook my confidence, and undermined my faith in humanity (for just a little while).

(Image via)

The moral of my story is: trust your instincts and follow your heart. It’s so easy to get sucked in by a success story, persuaded that this could be that big break that you were looking for, but it’s important not to get talked into doing something that you’re not interested in, or that conflicts with your morals and sense of self. Trust your judgement, and you’ll find your way.

Tags: advice curiosity graduate interview job nightmare outsource marketing sales

Categories: Wise up!