You Probably Won’t Die a Lonely Cat Lady

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Valentine’s Day is almost here.

So in addition to the Buzzfeed quizzes, inspirational quotes, and recipes, your newsfeeds are also likely to be flooded with lovey dovey statuses and couples’ selfies. But, aside from the happily taken professing their love, there are also the vocal singles.

You have the joyfully single: “Taking MYSELF on a date for Valentine’s Day. #mani-pedi #dinner #selflove”.

Then there are the hopelessly single: “Another Valentine’s Day alone. Time to binge eat, watch ‘The Notebook’, and cry myself to sleep. #futurecatlady”.

I actually used to be hopelessly single. It didn’t help that I was a late bloomer in the romance department. In my early teens, while most girls were beginning to date, I was banned from dating until I was 16 (or 22 according to my Dad). And by the time I turned 16, I was at an all-girls boarding school. Our brother school was a little too badass, and had an affinity for drinking cough syrup. So my options were limited.

I started dating during university, and in the years since have had a handful of relationships averaging 5 months each. So, I began to question my ability to have a lasting relationship, and imagined myself in 50 years time as the neighborhood recluse with decades of heartache and 20 exotic parrots (instead of cats) to fill the void in my life.

How I used to envision my future “children”.

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But eventually I became tired of harping about my love life, and decided instead to gain a new perspective on the situation:

There’s Someone Willing to Love You for YOU

As majorly cliché as this sounds, I really do believe that everyone has someone (or even multiple people!) who will love them regardless of their personality, body type, quirks, etc., and vice-versa. For far too long there has been the idea that a person has to be the embodiment of human perfection in order to be attractive to someone else. This is especially true for women, who are bombarded with an onslaught of books on “how to attract and keep a man”. Not to say that all of these books are complete nonsense – although there are some that are full of it. However, in my opinion, these advice books can cause feelings of inadequacy.

I’ve known hoarders who have managed to find long-lasting romance, as well as really mean people with doting spouses. On a positive note, I’ve also known people who focused on being the best version of themselves that they could be, and that caught someone’s eye. Of course, the process of finding that special someone can be challenging (or in my case they live nearly 4,000 miles away). But that’s a topic for another post. The take home point here is to know that you are worthy to be loved.

Singleness and Happiness Can Coexist

Let’s say you end up single for far longer than you intended. Or heck, maybe you never get married. Is it really the worst thing that can happen? Many of us may feel like the answer is “yes”, since two major milestones in our society are getting married and having kids. But maybe it’s time to change our thinking?

I’m not saying to give up dreams of starting a family, if that’s what you truly want to accomplish. Instead it’s necessary to stop thinking of being single as some sort of horrific plague. You can be single and happy, and I know many middle-aged women who are doing so; they are able to take on awesome opportunities that would be more difficult to do if they were married. Plus, they also have a solid support system of close friends and family. So being single doesn’t mean that you are forced to conform to the “unhappy spinster” or “crazy cat (or bird) lady” stereotypes.

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So be joyful this Valentine’s Day. Cook a nice meal and pamper yourself. Or have a night on the town with your friends. You never know who you may meet…

Tags: cat lady Joy love perspective relationships singledom spinster Valentine's Day

Categories: a little piece of joy Erin Johnson From the Heart Love & Relationships