Difficult People

I’ve had the misfortune of being on the end of some seriously narcissistic behaviour recently.

We all have people in our lives that we find it hard to get along with or whose personality clashes with our own but what do we do when we realise that someone in our life is bringing us down?

Like all personality disorders the narcissist is normally unaware of how they affect others around them. And while being assertive and communicating with the people around us is key to solving and enriching our relationships, narcissists can lack the empathy to reach a healthy compromise or understand your point of view.

I mean how can an opinion ever be wrong? But how do we spot these individuals? Often they are charming and the life and soul of the office/family etc, it can be tough to spot them until conflict arises.

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Here are some key points to identifying the narcissist.

One. They treat waiters/shop assistants or anyone they deem bellow them with disrespect.

Two. They give gifts but there always seems to be strings attached.

Three. While all is well so long as their ego is being massaged, any attempt to disagree is seen as a direct insult.

Four. They have selective memory concerning issues which could ruin the high image they have of themselves.

Five. They show little interest in your achievements unless it reflects well on them.

Six. May have many acquaintances but lack lasting and meaningful relationships.

If you’re unsure if the person you’re dealing with is a narcissist its worth bearing in mind the way you feel when you’re around them.

Do you sense that you’re always walking on egg shells? Or feel if you could only work out what they need and appease them, things would all be well? Do you find yourself stroking their ego to keep the peace? Or sense their disinterest when sharing your news?

I’m a people pleaser, and as such I think I attract these people in my life, but I’m learning that sometimes you have to just move the fuck on!

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In a mutually beneficial relationship its worth discussing things but when you find that it doesn’t matter how compromising you are, if the other person will only ever see things through their own eyes it’s time to leave.

You’re independent, you have you own thoughts and opinions and feelings and you should never feel you have to be subservient to the ego of anyone else.

Tags: difficult people Joy narcissism relationships

Categories: Emily Macdonald Fire me up baby! Love & Relationships Rant