April 28, 2014 - Written by: Yazmin Joy

A Twenty Something’s Guide on How to Get Your Shit Together (Part 1)

While having coffee with a girlfriend the other day she confided that she was struggling to find focus in her life. And it was causing her real misery.

Now she was the 5th person to mention this problem to me in the past month. And her story is one that has been cropping up a lot on aliljoy recently.

One of the greatest problems our generation seems to be faced with is figuring out what the hell we should be doing with our lives.

Most of us seem to be a bit like driftwood floating in a vast and epic ocean of uncertainty. Then we get stranded in jobs we can’t stand, in the hope that something better will just come along. Believe me: it won’t. Not if you just sit and wait.

If you have NO idea what you want to do with your life, here’s some advice on how to get your shit together:

1. Write down some of your goals.

I’m not on crack, don’t worry, I know I just said in the sub-heading that this is a list for people who don’t know what they want to do with their lives, but the act of writing is a method to help you figure it out.

There must be something you enjoy: a passion that you would like to pick up again, something new you’ve always wanted to try but never had a chance.

Writing a list of long term goals will:

1. Force you to think about what you like doing.

2. Help clarify your thought process.

If you can’t think of anything – just write whatever is on your mind – think stream of consciousness – what you had for breakfast, anything. If you write for long enough your thoughts will start to come together.

2. Do something. Anything, other than nothing.

Try out new experiences, hobbies, courses, crafts and practices that SPECIFICALLY explore the potential goals you mapped out in your list.

The laws of cause and effect are unfaltering:

Do Something = Something Will Happen

Do Nothing = Nothing Will Happen

If you didn’t write anything on your list, just do something… ANYTHING. Even if you are discovering what you don’t like, at least you are learning more about yourself – result. Start with what interests you.

3. Figure out your talent.

Everyone has a talent. Some people’s talents are easier to spot than others, but even if it’s not obvious, believe me, you got one!

Maybe you’re a people person. Did you know that could be a talent? Maybe you’re good at arguing. Hey, Law might be your practice. Maybe you can solve mathematic equations like a bad ass. Or maybe your talent is that you are multi-talented.

We often enjoy doing things we are good at, so if you are still figuring out what your talent is, ask your trusted friends and family where your strengths are located.

4. Find your purpose. (Or else your purpose will find YOU!)

Some people are moved to purpose by life changing events.

The other week Emily described how having her daughter at young age was the catalyst that gave her direction in life. Her story is truly inspirational to me and proves how circumstance may alter your future but doesn’t determine it.

5. Ask yourself: ‘What do I believe in?’

When I was incredibly lost and searching for direction in my life I started going to church (my church is actually in a theatre in London – but you know what I mean) and investing time in my faith. This personal development helped me get my shit together. When you know what your values are it makes your decision-making easier (not easy, but easier).

Your faith or beliefs, whatever they may be, should give you clarity and should ultimately make the decisions in your life easier. It shouldn’t restrict you or hold you back, instead drive you forward in your life by providing you with a spiritual anchor. This is not about ceremony, religion or anyone else. This is about you.

6. Walk your own path.

I believe one of the most confusing things for this generation is that people are constantly trying to map out our futures for us – they mean well. But this is not always helpful. Nothing is certain. A degree doesn’t equate to a secure job. A secure job does not mean life time security. Times are changing. Business is changing.

While our parents might have stayed in the same work place for most of their lives, our employment journey will be mapped differently as the way people do business evolves.

Dan Schawbel’s bestselling career guide Promote Yourself is brilliant at explaining how business is changing and how we can keep on top of the game.

7. Know you’re not a freak. And you’re certainly not alone.

The worst thing you can do if you are in the ‘fuck I don’t know what I’m doing in my life’ camp is break down into despair. If you are having a freak-out, let me tell you: a freak-out does not a freak make. Freak-outs are good, as they can be used to initiate action.

As long as you take little steps you are still moving forward.

(Image via)

These are just suggestions based on my own journey, but if you have any advice you’d like to share we’d love to hear from you.

Check out Part 2 next Monday on How to Get Your Shit Together… When You Know EXACTLY What You Want To Do With Your Life (but you are just lacking the motivation).

Have a great week peeps!

If you enjoyed this article, why not check out ‘Into the Unknown: The Quarter Life Crisis’?