April 3, 2014 - Written by: Natasha Hotung

Defogging: The Power of the Pause

Do you ever feel unsure of which career path you should follow?

Do you ever worry about where you’re supposed to be heading? How you’re going to get there?

A close friend of mine introduced The Fog to me a few weeks ago. I had gone through a significant amount of job stress and she was patiently attempting to raise my spirits over a much-needed caffeinated beverage as I harped on about feeling confused and directionless.

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‘The Fog’ can creep in at any point during our lifetime. It’s that knotted feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, that grey state of not knowing, that awkward hesitation that follows after people ask:

What are you going to do with yourself, now that you’ve graduated?

It’s the frightening realisation that there’s a big wide world out there and you feel the pressure to work out exactly what you’re going to do to get in the game and change it.

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Since graduating, I have worked in a random string of job roles including, but not limited to, teaching ballet, being personal assistant to a media mogul, and now I’m about to embark on a business training short course. I have also become a professional job hunter on the side. Although I’ve had a good run with steady employment in the past, I felt and still feel tremendous pressure to choose, follow and commit to a single career path and to seek one out fast.

The truth is, I had nothing to feel upset about. Nobody was pressuring me to figure it all out, to know exactly what I wanted to do. I was living in a city that I loved, surrounded by loving family, amazing friends, and an abundance of culture and activity. I had a good degree under my belt from a top university. I had passions and dreams. I had everything going for me.

And yet, I was putting myself down purely from the worry that I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life; and the thought that everyone else around me did. My friends appeared to have it all figured out. They were pursuing their dreams and seemed to know exactly what they wanted, and more importantly where they saw themselves in years to come. Or so it seemed.

In short, I feared I would never fulfil my potential in something I was good at, enjoyed and meant to do.

We live in an economic time where gaining employment is hard to come by. Employers demand so much from graduate applicants and you can guarantee that per vacancy, hundreds of people are applying.

HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO STAND OUT?

It’s as if you’re expected to know exactly what you want to do and exactly how you’re supposed to do it. Just as we are expected to have all the professional skills employers are looking for after we graduate. As you can imagine, this is both stressful and unrealistic.

People are always going to want to know what your next move is going to be.

In Maria Shriver’s speech to USC graduates (watch it here), she reflects on the power of the pause. She explains: it’s like what we’re doing at this precise moment doesn’t even exist. Everyone is focused on the next thing. Everyone is racing to the next thing.

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And she couldn’t be more right.

She urges us to check in with ourselves, to hit that pause button and just be in the present.

It recently dawned on me that I am not facing the big question of ‘what am I going to do?’ alone. There are hundreds, no thousands, of people out there who are smart, outgoing, and motivated, who struggle, who worry, and who are in The Fog.

The important thing to realise is that there will always be foggy times in life but you don’t have to worry because life isn’t a race.

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It’s okay if you haven’t got it all figured out yet. You are only racing against yourself. What we do have is our youth and time to discover our talents, what we enjoy, and what makes us happy in the long run.

The next time you’re fretting about not having a career plan or worrying that everyone else is racing ahead, remind yourself that you are not alone.

Take a beat, breathe and hit that pause button.

Eventually, things will defog and you’ll know what to do when the coast is clear.

Tags: advice careers confidence defog jobs mindfulness motivation the power of the pause