August 7, 2014 - Written by: Erin Johnson

What My Brother Taught Me About Tolerance

I spent much of my childhood attending a traditional Baptist church. The kind of church where congregants were told that dancing in a secular setting was a no-no, drinking was taboo, and three hour (or longer) services were the norm. We were also taught that homosexuality was an abomination.

In fact, our pastor preached entire hellfire-induced sermons about how ‘it was Adam and Eve, and not Adam and Steve’. Never mind the fact that this (married) pastor was later excommunicated for sexually harassing dozens of women in our congregation. But that’s another story.

So, I grew up believing that LGBTQ people were really weird. I mean, I didn’t think they were complete social outcasts; my third grade playmates consisted of a group of bullied kids, including a boy (we’ll call him Brian) who was already openly gay at age nine. Sometimes we had to spend entire lunch breaks helping Brian avoid being beaten up. However, although I liked playing with Brian and thought those who openly attacked him were wrong, I still judged him internally. I silently wished Brian would change, and saw him as an ‘other’. I guess you could say, in a way, that I dehumanised Brian and other gay people. Except that I did it with my thoughts, instead of using words or fists.

And then, four years later, my older brother Derek came out.

You see, Derek and I have always been close. Our mother often uses the saying ‘thick as thieves’ to describe our relationship. When I was little, he was often the only person who could understand my toddler gibberish and had to translate for our parents. Then when I got a little older, we’d lip-sync to MTV music videos and choreograph dance routines (we avoided telling our pastor). And when Derek got his first job at a movie theater, he’d often use his employee discount to take me to see kiddie movies, even though I’m guessing he would’ve rather seen something else. Sure we fought at times, as siblings often do, but he’d do anything to protect me.

And I looked up to him. I still do.

When Derek told our family he was gay, I wasn’t surprised. Sure he had dated women, and he’d even had a long-term girlfriend when he was a teenager. Plus, he didn’t fit the caricature of how society believes a gay man is supposed to act. Nonetheless, by hanging around my brother, I picked up on certain things and had my suspicions. So while I didn’t have the initial shock that some of our relatives had, I did have some beliefs to confront. I had to realise that my past habit of dehumanising LGBTQ people was wrong.

Yet, the concept of seeing people as ‘less human’ goes beyond sexual orientation. We live in a world where wars go on in the Holy Land and humans are turned into targets based on national and religious allegiances. In many countries, my fellow Christians are persecuted, and we too have been guilty of punishing other religions for practising theirs. But this goes beyond religion.

I live in a country where race remains a major issue even in 2014 (whether or not America wants to admit it). I’ve had times where I’ve been gawked at like a zoo animal and had some pretty crappy things done to me because of my pigmentation. This also goes beyond race, though. Here at aliljoy, we regularly blog about how often women are treated as objects, and how this must be stopped. Sadly, people dehumanise people for countless reasons everyday.

The world is an incredibly diverse place, and we aren’t always going to share the same beliefs. Or insist on holding hands and singing ‘I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing‘. Even within groups there is disagreement and conflict.

Regardless, I wish more of us would realise that despite our disagreements and squabbles, we are also alike in many ways. Because we are all human after all.

My brother taught me that. ♥

If you enjoyed this article, why not check out ‘Why I Need Feminism… (What the aliljoy.com Team Have to Say)‘?