Dating Decisions: Does the Career Make the Man?

Flashback to five years ago: I’m in university attending a meeting for a very aliljoy-esque student organisation. A group of young ladies are gathered to discuss everything from leadership and women’s issues to pop culture. Eventually the conversation turns to a subject that most teens and 20-somethings love to discuss: relationships.

After we rant about the trials and tribulations of on-campus dating, I decide to ask a question:

“Would anyone consider dating a non-university educated guy who has a successful blue-collar career?”

The room goes quiet for a minute and then a PhD student says a resounding NO. She shares how she dated a blue-collar man and that things didn’t work out. She then goes on to explain how the guy made a big deal about her education and seemed to be intimidated.

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Other women nod their heads in agreement.

In the years since, I’ve continued to wonder: How big of a deal is a man’s career in dating?

Should a lawyer and a firefighter date? Or are they “too different”? What about guys in pink-collar or traditionally feminine service-oriented fields (think social workers, nurses, and librarians)? How do they stack up on the dating scene?

I often think about my parent’s relationship. My mother has a Master’s degree and is a retired teacher, whilst my father worked in manufacturing and has a high school diploma. My parents’ differing educational levels have never seemed to be an issue in their relationship.

However, times were different when my parent’s started dating. Fewer people went to uni overall and it was much easier for a man to find a well-paying factory job. Also, teaching isn’t a typical white-collar job, and has even been labeled as a pink-collar profession.

But what about in the modern dating world where a Bachelor’s degree has turned into the new high school diploma (or GCE qualification) and white-collar work is held in greater esteem? Not to mention the fact that women now outnumber men at many UK and US universities, and are seeking high prestige careers at faster rates than before.

Let’s Talk About Class, Baby…

Discussing the importance of a potential suitor’s career choice is difficult without bringing up the subject of social class.

Coming from the US, where everyone from waste management workers to accountants considers themselves middle class, this usually boils down to income. And let’s face it: there are many blue-collar workers who make more money than your average highly degreed office worker.

Heck, one of my professors in undergrad said that he planned  to encourage his son to become a welder, since he would easily make more money than many of us in the lecture hall.

However, class goes beyond income. It also includes factors such as education, choice of hobbies and social organisations. And of course the various “collars” of professions (stereotypically) differ in these regards.

In fact, I’ve heard several white-collar women say that their reluctance to date blue-collar men stems from a belief that these men won’t be as worldly or intellectual as their degreed, suit and tie wearing counterparts. 

“Manly” vs. “Non-Manly” Careers

On the other hand, whilst men in some pink-collar professions may be highly educated and wear smart trousers to work, they also face their own stereotypes. Since women hold the majority of these jobs, these fields are not seen as manly as say firefighting or high-powered business professions. And there are women who may see this as an attack on a guy’s manhood.

So What Do You Think?

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Is a guy’s choice of career a major deal breaker in dating?

Personally, a man’s values speak louder to me than whether he chose to become an electrician over an electrical engineer, or a nurse instead of a doctor.

Is he intellectually curious and ambitious (since contrary to popular belief these are not solely found in university graduates with prestigious job titles)? Is he responsible with finances?

Additionally, is he respectful, does he have a sense of humour, etc.? To me character makes the man. Not his job title.

Plus, a guy in a well-fitting suit is attractive to me. But so is one that can fix my stuff.

 If you enjoyed this article, why not check out ‘The Potential New Boyfriend Equation: You Do the Maths’?

Tags: careers class dating jobs Joy love men

Categories: Erin Johnson Love & Relationships