7 Ways to Deal with Jealousy

We ALL feel jealous from time to time. 

I mean it’s totally okaaaay to despise your ex for finding love before you. It’s finnnnne to wanna bitch slap your colleague for getting the promotion you worked all year for. I completely get your desire to usurp the lead in the school play because blatantly you were born to play that starring role – comprende man – you don’t need to explain. You’re only human, right?

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If you didn’t feel a little pang of jealousy I would say that’s a little weird. But at the same time jealousy out of control is DANGEROUS.

Jealousy is an emotion we rarely have control over, but I find the trick to dealing with jealousy is not to suppress or simply ignore it, but CONFRONT IT and USE it to make you better.

This post is all about dealing with your own jealous feelings and using it to rocket you into the stratosphere of brilliance. So here we go…

Here’s some tips on how to deal with jealousy:

1. If you feel jealous, first understand that this is a YOU issue. 

Jealousy is one of the ugliest emotions because it has the capacity to obliterate your relationships and can be self-destructive.

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It’s not uncommon to feel the pangs of jealousy when you see someone with something you want. Achieving something you wish you had. Strutting around, being the person you feel short of being. Seeing someone you once loved with someone new – and they look happy. Vom.

But notice that in all scenarios: Jealousy is a YOU issue. And this shouldn’t frighten you, this should EMPOWER you to do something about it.

2. Give yourself a pat on the back for dealing with this. 

Yes, high-five for being such an AWESOME, BRAVE person to actually deal with this son of a bitch.

Dealing with our emotions is not a walk in the park. It’s a hike through a treacherous forrest with beastly little goblins who all have your face. Aghhhhhhh! Facing jealousy is all about facing your own fears toward yourself and your future. Terrifying.

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3. Don’t feed the gremlins!

The worse thing you can do when you are jealous is feed it. Don’t surrender to it and let it control your emotions from here on.

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Instead, ask yourself the following question…

4. What’s this REALLY about Sister/Brother?

 ‘Jealousy is the fear of comparison’
Max Frisch

Come on! Fess up. What’s this REALLY about?

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Jealousy is about one thing: FEAR. This is an exercise in facing your fears.

It is an indication you are not comfortable with where you are. Locate WHERE the fear is coming from and deal.

5. Don’t justify jealous behaviour by trying to make it sound honourable. 

I heard this saying the other day:

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A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend???

No. Just no.

That doesn’t even make sense. Jealousy has nothing to do with faithfulness. You can be faithful and not jealous. That’s just a lame ass justification some people use for acting like an asshole in a relationship.

Jealousy will not make a person stay with you, but it can push someone away from you.

HOWEVER, saying that, feelings of jealousy might be an indication that there are some important things you need to address about your relationship. So turn the negative into a positive: figure out WHY you feel jealous and then address the root of the problem with your partner.

6. If you find yourself jealous ALL the time, you have TOO much time.

‘Don’t waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead. Sometimes you’re behind.’
Mary Schmich

Don’t let jealousy rob you of your time and energy. Simples.

7. Train your brain to see jealousy in a way that INSPIRES YOU.

Understanding your jealousy and nipping it in the bud can be the wake up call you need to help you move forward in life.

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If you can see jealousy as a way to inspire you – it can actually be a blessing in disguise.

Have a great week peeps!

x

Tags: envy inpiration jealousy Joy

Categories: Love & Relationships Mirror Mirror: Self Improvement Wise up! Yazmin Joy