January 19, 2015 - Written by: Yazmin Joy

A Week of Cock Ups and How I Dealt with Them

Last week I made a series of cock ups I’d like to get off my chest.

Monday: Cock up 1

Some of you may have already noticed this total tits-arse-wanker balls up on my Twitter feed or Facebook page, and if you did, thank you for not pointing it out to me. I really appreciate it.

I kicked off 2015 by making a really obvious spelling mistake in a recent Huffpost blog, which was ironically about finding joy. If it wasn’t embarrassing enough to make a spelling mistake on this platform, it was doubly frustrating as I only went and put it in the bloody title, didn’t I! FFS.

Tuesday: Cock up 2

I missed my dentist appointment. Okay not a huge cock up but a cock up non-the-less. The dental practice sent me a formal warning in the post the next day. Next time I would be fined £15. FFS.

Wed/Thursday: Cock up 3

I made a colleague feel really bad about missing an email, only to find that I hadn’t actually sent her the email in the first place. FFS. To make things worse, she kept apologising. Then I had to grovel explaining why she wasn’t the one who needed to apologise.

Friday: Cock up 4

So my computer is pretty much my universe right now. All my work is on it, I run every project and venture via my laptop.

Now this sounds random but will make sense in a second, I am very good at sneezing. My sneezes are loud and defiant. But, friends, my loud sneezes are dangerous. The only pre-warning I get before a terrifyingly large sneeze is suspiciously tickily nostril, not giving me much time to brace myself.

There I was with a fresh cup of tea about to post up a link to the latest aliljoy blog on Facebook when I started to feel a tickle in my nose. Oh no… but there was no time – HAAACHUUUUUUOOOOO!

Tea.

All over my computer.

And suddenly my computer went…

——–

——-

(Dead.)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

(Image via)

How I dealt with my cock ups…

When a succession of bad events happen in life, it’s natural to get upset.

If only I didn’t have the tea in my hand. If only I had backed up all of my work. FFS! I HAVEN’T BACKED UP ANY OF MY WORK!! What a fool was I. Career over? I began to freak out.

Then it hit me: I am always talking about positive thinking, well, this was my opportunity to practice what I preach.

The past few weeks I have been reading The Chimp Paradox by Prof. Steve Peters. The book is about mind management looking at different parts of the brain: the human (rational thinking), the chimp (emotional thinking) and the computer (stored information).

After cock up number 4 my chimp was out of the box. I was seriously upset, tearfully pacing my living room. But the reality was beating myself up about these mistakes would be ultimately unproductive.

(Image via)

To prevent total mind melt-down in a stressful situation Peters suggests AMP:

‘This is the power to Accept, and Move on with a Plan’.

Let me explain these principles.

1. Accept.

This doesn’t mean denying yourself natural feelings of frustration. This means getting mad, upset and exercising your chimp (emotion) so you, the human, can face the situation head on.

E.g. When I realised I had made a massive spelling error in my Huffpost article I felt ashamed and embarrassed. The truth is, I just made a mistake. It happens.

Jessie J admitted the other day that she had made a spelling mistake on a tattoo she had done when she was a 18. That made me feel better. At least my article title wasn’t tattooed to my ass or ribcage.

2. Move on.

Peters asserts that when bad things happen ‘you have two choices: stay where you are and keep the same problem or cut your losses and form a new plan and go forward.’

3. Plan.

Accept that life is not fair but whatever the challenges ahead commit to face them one at a time. Do not worry about what had not yet come to pass.

E.g. The internet told me to put my laptop in a bag of rice and put it in a warm dry place for 48 hours. That is what I did. If my laptop wouldn’t come back to life then after that I would take it to a repair centre and get advice. If they couldn’t fix it… well, I would cross that bridge when I came to it.

What I learnt…

Seeing as I had no computer for 2 days, I was forced to relax, and in doing so I was able to look at my week of cock ups without distraction, and with a fresh perspective. It got me thinking about work and productivity. How I struggle to disconnect and how, as a result, I was burning out which was causing me to make mistakes.

So 2015 is the year I have decided to invest time to regularly replenish my mind and take time to relax on a regular basis (a very tough personal goal for me as I love being on the go).

When I returned to my computer 48 hours later, to my relief she turned on. (WOOHOO!) I guess we both needed to switch off for a few days, but maybe next time it wouldn’t take a crash to get me thinking clearly.

Have a great week peeps!

If you enjoyed this article, why not check out: ‘Confessions of a Past Perfectionist: Why Being Perfect Isn’t Worth It’?