May 6, 2015 - Written by: Shiraz Engineer

Don’t Waste It – Spoil It!

This week, the face of the United Kingdom is going to change. Yes, that’s right – it’s election time. On Thursday, 7^th May, we are going to be voting in the General Election.

This is a big deal, people.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that this general election campaign has been both uninspiring and downright confusing. I, as a floating voter, was really struggling to decide who to vote for. I went through a rollercoaster ride of emotions and arguments in the two hours of the first leaders’ debate and went to sleep very puzzled. Luckily, in the morning I had made a decision to go with my heart, so I’m happy with which name I will be putting my cross next to come Thursday.

I know that most of you reading this will be taking this seriously, but unfortunately, there is a big problem facing this nation when it comes down to politics, and that is apathy. I personally don’t have much time for people who have happily decided that they wouldn’t vote at all.

But at the same time, I accept that this country is full of poor, unemployed, underpaid, overworked and persecuted individuals who have been drained of the energy and inspiration to vote.

You may be one of them. And if you do want to vote, how are you meant to choose between the parties? Is there really much difference between the leader with the piggy, puffy face and the leader who looks like an Aardman figure?

Probably not. You reckon they’re all lying, cheating bastards, especially that shifty nutter with the turtle face. So in the end, you’ll probably think it’s easiest not to vote at all. Your name will go un-highlighted at the polling station, just like many other dejected citizens on the electoral roll. And you’ll think you had no option.

But that’s where you’re WRONG! There is another way to express your dissatisfaction in the election, and that is SPOILING YOUR VOTE.

Spoilt votes count towards the overall turnout. When the candidates and their total votes are read out across the country, the number of spoilt ballots also must be announced. So it’s not a wasted vote – it’s a vote against ALL candidates, but it is also a protest against apathy.

Spoiling your vote is the best way to be politically active in the election without actually voting.

It clearly demonstrates that you’re really quite unimpressed with the choices presented to you, but that you care enough to scribble over your ballot paper and voice your disinterest.

(Image via)

So, why is this better than not voting?

Firstly (and this is a message mainly to all my sisters out there), many people fought, starved, were imprisoned, and even died for our right to have the vote. They were pushed, kicked, slammed behind bars and brutally force-fed. So if you don’t use your ballot paper, you’re really just throwing their suffering back in their faces.

I for one always have the Suffragettes in my mind as I proudly take hold of that tiny pencil on a string and mark my cross upon my ballot. They are the reason I am on a politically equal footing with men and they deserve all my gratitude.

So if there’s any possibility that you are registered to vote but are not going to mosey on down to your polling station and use your ballot to convey a particular message, I’m sorry to tell you this, but you’re being a fool. Emily Davison did not throw herself under the King’s horse for you to sit at home on Election Day and bitch about the state of our nation. You’re not cool, you’re stupid.

Which leads me onto my second point. In my opinion, if you don’t vote or spoil your ballot paper, you don’t have any right to complain. Not about the buses, your council tax, your student loan, the minimum wage, none of it. No, not even about how your train was late for the 108^th time.

No vote/spoil, no opinion.

And everyone loves to complain about stuff! Don’t lose out on your right to whine.

So when tomorrow rolls around and you still feel as if you’re not happy with any of the parties or candidates representing you, go down there anyway and go to town on your ballot paper! Whatever you do, USE your vote – don’t waste it. Here’s a helpful guide on how to spoil your vote clearly, but to be honest, writing ‘F*CK THE SYSTEM’ right across all the names will be fairly apparent… It’ll also feel pretty good!

But if you do end up voting UKIP, don’t expect me to congratulate you…

See you on the other side!

If you enjoyed this article, why not check out ‘Tall, Sparkly Blue Eyes, Gorgeous Smile… UKIP Voter‘?