July 15, 2015 - Written by: Patricia Obaro Odje

‘You’re allowed to miss it’ – Saying Goodbye

This year I have seen A LOT of changes to the people in my life, my career and my home. Although the idea of new beginnings can be an exciting thing, I have often felt a little bit scared too.

I got used to putting on an enthusiastic facial expression to almost blank out something that was getting me down (because let’s face it most of the time it is easier to pretend nothing is bugging you than to face up to all the things that do), until I decided to give up altogether recently and chose to be sad for a little while.

Admittedly, I was guilty of being ‘weak’ at first, but slowly I started interrupting my thoughts and kept saying to myself, ‘Patricia? you’re allowed to miss it’.

The truth is, sometimes when we get in the mist of ‘trying to stay positive’ we may feel like we are not allowed to get sad or admit we miss something, or someone. Ever felt this way? Well stop it…right now! You are allowed to reminisce, get down and throw a few tantrums. We are human beings and it is about time you remind yourself that your emotions are normal and cannot necessarily be controlled 24/7.

Here are a few tips to get you through the transition of ‘saying goodbye’…

1. Phone a ‘trustworthy’ friend
Everyone has that one friend/friend made family /family member that they can run to with their issues. Don’t ever feel like you are alone in this world, you will be surprised how many people actually care about your well being!

2. Start planning new things
Try something new! Book a full body massage from Groupon for under £20, brainwash a friend into going for an in door skydiving lesson… just plan your life away! This will remind you that no matter the situation, life goes on. It will also give you something to look forward to.

3. Have a bit of a cry
As I said, it is okay to be sad. DO NOT hold it in, let those tears flow! If you do not feel comfortable breaking down in front of people, pour yourself a shower and slump in those tears. It will feel like such a relief, and will allow you to almost ‘mourn’ the past for a few minutes.

4. Evaluate
No matter the decisions we make, we will also have thoughts of ‘what if’. My advice would be whenever you feel a bit low, evaluate why you made that decision in the first place. Why did you finally leave that job? Was it finally time to move on? Was the person good for your growth and wellbeing?

As long as your answer is, ‘yes, you were right’ then you made the right decision – so don’t look back!

(Image via)

I hope this has been help to anyone feeling a bit lost or alone in their thoughts, just know that everyone feels this way at some point in their life – you are NOT alone!

How do you deal with ‘Saying Goodbye’ ?

If you liked this, why not read ‘Bye Bye Princess: The Law of Sacrifice‘?