January 13, 2014 - Written by: Yazmin Joy

Worry Won’t Change a Damn Thing!

I’ve got this problem: whenever something awesome happens in my life, I have this overwhelming perpetual fear that it’s going to be taken away from me.

It’s kinda messed up. When things are going bad – I worry. When things are going good – guess what? I can sometimes WORRY EVEN MORE!

Dude, there are actual times I find myself afraid to celebrate success. I feel on edge, as if I am undeserving. That it was too easy. What’s the catch? And I didn’t even have to sell my kidneys?? Fo’ real? (Mum – that was a joke. I wouldn’t sell my kidneys.)

I was kinda of freaking out the other week. I just got an insane job opportunity COMPLETELY OUT OF THE BLUE. You see, I had been rejected from SO many industry jobs this past year it was kind of blowing my mind that people had actually begun to approach ME to work with THEM, not the other way round. Sayyyyy whaaaaat!?!?!?

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When I heard the good news, I sat back and took a long dramatic pause. I reached for the phone.

‘Hi you! Are you alright?’ It felt good to hear my best friend’s voice.

‘I am so happy.’ I replied. ‘ Good things are ACTUALLY happening. But….’ My voice started to break.

‘But what?’ She said, alarmed at my quivering voice.

I felt tears welling up, ‘I’m scared.’

‘What?? That’s crazy. What are you scared about?’

‘I’m scared it won’t happen. I’m afraid I’ll fail. That this opportunity will get taken away from me.’

There was silence for a moment or two until –

‘You know what? I am scared about things going right in my life too.’

Her response took me by surprise.

You see, there’s one thing you gotta know about my friend. She is da BOMB! She rocks whatever she does but those closest to her know that it’s never been an easy ride. She got a first in her degree when she was told by doctors that she would not even pass the course because of a long term illness. She is now studying an MA at one of the top schools in the country and has defied doctors and academics by making a full recovery. She is the bravest, most sassiest girl I know. HANDS DOWN!

It was kind of weird that she was doubting herself after everything that she had been through. How could she be scared?? How could she not have faith in herself when she had already achieved so much?

I’m not saying that I thought she would never face challenges, but I did know that her character, her faith and her inner strength would overcome the opposition. And because of that I wasn’t afraid for her.

As all this was running through my mind, she then said the words that were about to come from my own lips.

‘I have faith in you.’

It’s funny how sometimes we can see potential and light in someone else’s future, but with our own there is so much doubt.

….That night I couldn’t sleep. As I lay in bed, I asked myself how worrying about possible failure was going to help me.

The answer: it won’t.

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” Corrie ten Boom

You know what my dear bloggy-reader friend? I am so done with worrying. I’m so fed up of anticipating disaster when there is NO DISASTER TO ANTICIPATE!

Many of us are afraid to be happy as if it will jinx opportunity or taint our success but the truth is, bad things will happen whether we worry or not. Tomorrow may all go to hell. But tomorrow is tomorrow, and today I CHOOSE to be happy.

And with that I turned out the lights, and went to sleep.

Have a great week peeps!

Tags: fear friendship jobs rejection failure