I Got Mugged Last Night. This Is What I Learnt.

Chapter 1 – The Attack

My ordeal all kicked off as I was innocently walking home from East Acton station just before 11 pm. I was taking the usual route home, and as I turned the corner I began to faff about with my iphone.

I was actually changing the track from Katie Perry’s Wide Awake to that new Daft Punk track, when I suddenly heard a rustling from the bushes. Looking to the direction where the sound was coming, I saw a crazy wide eyed dude in a unzipped hoodie and gangster cap, crouching like a cat behind some fencing. He was shifting his weight from side to side – like he was doing one of those wanky drama ‘be an animal’ exercises. Okay, I thought this could be the village loon. Everything’s going to be okay. He was clearly on drugs.

I began to walk faster and clocking this chick across the road from me I thought hey its alright Yaz ol gal you’re not alone when suddenly I heard…

‘AGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.’

The loon made a very dramatic run up and jumped on my back. Yes, you read correctly, HE JUMPED ON MY MOTHER FUCKING BACK. Like a really inflexible ninja.

Naturally I screamed ‘AGGHHHH HELP!’, hoping the chick would run at him with a stick or get her phone out to call the police. But my hope was gashed as the bitch began to runaway. Noooo, I thought, come back. 

Chapter 2 – Primal Instinct

I didn’t know what to do. They say that animal instinct kicks in in situations like this. So I did the only thing I could do in my situation: I played dead. Like a possum. I lay on the concrete, dead weight, clinging to my phone as the loon hunched over me yanking my phone from my hands.

He kept saying the line ‘I’m going to take your phone… I’m going to take your phone…’ But I wasn’t sure whether he was saying it to me or to himself. He was as freaked as I was I think. He wasn’t very professional. 

I suddenly felt very calm. It was important I think this through. I was carrying a backpack and inside was my MacBook. To steal my phone was one thing but my life was on my computer. Work that was irreplaceable and in many ways priceless to me. I made my decision and let go of my phone. He legged it down the street.

 Chapter 3 – Home

When I got home my house mates were super supportive. As we waited for the police I tracked my phone on icloud. ‘Oh my gawd, my phone is right here. On our street.’ Then all the boys in my house, (one didn’t even wait to put shoes on) went storming down the street in an 5 man angry mob. ‘Oh wait, nope that flashing dot on the screen is my computer. Not my phone.’ Ooops. Myyy bad. But the angry mob was already half way down the street….

Chapter 4 – Ridin’ with the Po-Po 

The London Met robbery squad for my area was at my door within five minutes of making the call.  And then, wait for it – I went for a ride along to find the mugger. A freakin’ RIDE ALONG man. I’ve got to say, it was probably the most bad ass thing I have ever done. Cruzing around the neighbourhood in an undercover car looking for criminals. So cool. I felt like I was in End of Watch or something. We didn’t find the guy but my ride with the police was exhilarating.

Things This Experience Taught Me…

1. I Am Blessed. 

It’s easy for me to trivialize my situation but while I was on the floor he could have easily beat the shit out of me, kicked me or strangled me. He didn’t. He didn’t think to ask for my wallet or my laptop. I am blessed. I truely believe an angel was watching over me. He jumped me and don’t even have a scratch. It’s a miracle.

2. I Will Not Create the Opportunity

This guy was going to rob somebody that night. It wasn’t my fault it happened. But it was partially my fault it happened to me. I shouldn’t of had my phone out the way I did. If someone’s going to attack or rob you there is very little you can do to stop it. A friend of mine was mugged by his attacker at 11 am in the morning. All you can do is be careful as best you can and be aware of your surroundings.

3.  I Am Not Alone

One of my house mates became tearful when I got home and blubbered my story. She had been held by the neck during a robbery and my experience had brought the memories back to her. If this happens to you, know you are not alone. Talk with someone. Call the police. Borrow someone’s phone. Make that call! The police are there to protect you and help. Take their help. And be helpful in their investigation.

3.  I Will Not Live in Fear

I refuse to live in fear. I can’t do it. I can’t be that person who is scared to step outside, spends her night-out dreading the walk home. I can’t do it. Last night I realized how much this meant to me. Its more important to wise up. After all to live in fear – is not living!

Have a great week peeps!

x

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Categories: Adventureland