July 24, 2013 - Written by: Yazmin Joy

5 Things It’s Acceptable to do at a Festival and Nowhere Else

Every year I swear never again and yet every year I do it. Going to festivals is a rather peculiar tradition when you think about it. Basically you pay an substantial amount of money to pitch your own tent in a field and survive for 4 days against the elements.

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I went to Latitude this weekend (it was AMAZEBALLS!) but I’ve got to admit that by day 3 I was itching for a shower. So I departed my group, stood in line for an hour and then entered the communal shower tent.

The showers were pretty much how I imagined prison would be. (My idea of prison is mainly derived from the movie The Shawshank Redemption.) Now I am a massive prude if I’m honest and suddenly finding myself surrounded my naked chicks with bits of grubby flesh flapping every where with no attendant – I’ve got to say – caught me a bit off guard. Any how… as I stood under my luke warm dripping faucet, my grease-ball hair now soap sodden and seeping into my eyes I thought: where in the world would this ever be a chosen experience? And that’s when I came up with a list.

5 Things It’s Acceptable to do at a Festival and Nowhere Else

1. Hug Everything.

‘Don’t just go hugging trees willy nilly Jess.’ I overheard as I headed back to camp.

Now I didn’t know who Jess was but at a festival you can pretty much hug anything you want. The speaker was obviously not acquainted with the communal love of plant life that is inherent when you attend an arts festival. Just beware of prickly shrubs.

2. Be dirty.

Shower shmawer… who needs one? Okay I had a shower but I just couldn’t resist okay!!But if you are naturally a filthy person festival living is the thing for you! I was weak you see, but the more hard core festival goers just embrace the grease. They use it as natural hair serum.

3. Wear random shit you would never usually wear.

You can literally dress like a mod porpoise in a tea dress with fairy wings and no one will even bat an eye lid. In fact the more ridiculous you look the better. Socks and sandles? Work it sister. ‘Hey let’s draw dicks on our faces just coz it’s fun.’ Okay then!

4. Go a bit ‘Amish’.

As I was scrubbing out baked bean residue from our pans at the communal pot wash I suddenly felt very Amish. Building fires for warmth, leaving your computer and smart phone at home in favour of a Nokia 100, washing your hair under a tap in the middle of a woodland glade – it’s okay to actually enjoy a bit of disconnection. In fact I think it’s good for the spirit. (Btw I know very little about Amish culture so I am very aware that all these things are probably NOT what the Amish community do to this extent.)

5. Swear you’ll never do it again and then DO IT AGAIN.

Going to festivals ISN’T A HOLIDAY. It’s a tribal adventure that requires stamina and a strong will to live. The first time I went to a festival was Glastonbury 2010 and I gotta say I hated the camping and shitting in a pit bit – it’s just disgusting isn’t it? We lost one member of our group in the rain and she was never quite the same after. For me, my body just refused to function and I felt cold the whole time.

But as the years have gone I have found that the more I go the more I enjoy it. I think human beings crave an escape from our over technologically dependent lives. We want to sit in a field and listen to indie music about sharks and wind.

If aliens landed and saw how we voluntarily become refugees for 3-5 days a year without a zombie apocolypse, civil war or an outbreak of antherax they would think we are crazy muther fuckers and leave immediately. Also those of you who have been to Latitude will know the quality of living is pretty exceptional aka. they didn’t run out of loo roll – it was just miraculous!

So why do we do it? I believe the answer is simple. People crave simple living from time to time. We want art. Our primal instincts crave a bit of adventure. We NEED art. It’s worth living in a field for. It’s worth getting cold and sleep deprived for. And especially for us Brits, it just proves our resilience – we will have a good time come rain or shine. We WILL DAMNIT.

And that’s about it folks! So who’s been to a festival this summer? What was it like? Would you go again? Spill!

Hope you’re having a great week peeps!