6 Reasons Society Annoys Me

1. Unruly children in tightly confined spaces.

Walking around the city in the heat of summer break is probably the best contraceptive you can get. I was on the tube and this kid was in the middle of a Pomm Bear massacre. As I sat down there was a *crunch*. I shuffle. Yup – definitely got Pomm Bear stuck to my ass right now. The thing is, I understand it must be tough for the parents who are trying to raise well behaved children – my children will probably drive me nuts. But some parents seem to be vigilantly and deliberately raising future asbo’s. The mum of child here found it funny her child was making a mess and vandalising the carriage. Haha, yes hilarious. Hilarious I have potato snack on my bum now as I am about to go for a meeting.

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2. People who use pets as accessories. 

Whether it’s a cat, dog or monkey, these pets are living, breathing, instinctual creatures people. No-one in Chelsea watch The Dog Whisperer? Dogs have primal instinct and are not meant to be dyed pink and kept in handbags, they are supposed to be out sniffing, chasing and hunting. And then people wonder why their monkey went awol, why their dog chewed their Prada, why their cat desecrated on their cream carpet.

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3. Spit in the street.

Nasty, unhygienic, tacky and I ALWAYS STEP ON IT.

4. PDA

aka. Public Displays of Affection. I actually wrote a blog on this a few months back. I said it then and I’ll say it again: PUT YOUR TONGUES AWAY.

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5. Angry Locals

My mate and I were walking down the tube stairs at Tottenham Court Road when suddenly this guy walking the opposite direction started bitchin’:

‘These tourists are always going the wrong fucking way.’

My mate was having a bit of a bad day and wasn’t in the mood for this shit. ‘I live here douche bag.’

They were gobsmaked.

Even at home in Cornwall we, locals, sometimes get a bit irrate about the emits [tourists] that cause heavy traffic congestion, take all the parking spaces and crowd the pasty shop. Many people I know harbour hostility towards holiday makers, partly because it’s a good laugh, but in all seriousness STOP WHINING because it boosts our local  economy and provides a quarter of the local people with jobs for the season! Chiillll.

6. People robbing me.

I am getting to the point that if you try and mug me I will turn on Miss Crazy and try and gouge your eyeballs out. And then I WILL set off my rape alarm. Robbers be warned.

Rant over! That was fun. Better out than in! 

What’s royally annoying you at the moment? Share!

Have a great week peeps!

x

Tags: humour life lessons London rudeness society summer

Categories: Rant