I Know You ‘Like’ Me But Do You Like Me?

The Facebook ‘Like’ absolutely confounds me. Isn’t it one of the most baffling enigmas of this digital generation?

I mean sometimes it’s really obvious what is ‘Likable’ – photos of cats doing crazy shizz with a comical caption generally cracks me up! Like. Other stuff – I just don’t get. Sophie went to pick up some juice from the spa shop. 20 Likes. Err what?!? O here’s yet another of my weekend booze – before I drink it. Riveting man. But wait a sec – 30 likes!? What the actual f-

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A few months ago a friend messaged me and asked if I could ‘Like’ her status. She was flustered and distressed because, wait for it, ONLY 8 PEOPLE had ‘LIKED’ her recent update.

‘Only 8 people!?’ I replied. A travesty.

I am of course being sarcastic. I am lucky if 8 people Like my status or photo!

Personally, I feel slightly more immune to the impact of the dreaded Facebook Like on my emotional state because, in truth, I am a closet Victorian and I have always been more of a pen and paper kind of gal!

But alas I complied with my friend’s wishes, because I didn’t want her to do something irrational like KILL HERSELF (not literally) – because of lack of personal endorsement. Her update was a joke about cheese – fairly amusing. I chuckled  (not out loud) and clicked the Like. Damnit my friend had asked me to Like her status and Like it I shall!

But the incident got me thinking about the impact of the Facebook ‘Like’ on our emotions.

Now I know that this post is going to relate to some people more then others. Maybe you don’t give a flying monkeys about how many Likes you get on Facebook. If that’s you, then you rock! But the reason why I decided to post about this is because there are a significant number of people out there who care very deeply about how Likeable they are. And if you are one of those, this is a post for you.

So, what does a ‘Like’ actually mean?

Do you Like my status? Do you Like my wit? Do you Like ME?!? Is it personal? Oh gawd it’s personal isn’t it!?

Don’t get me wrong, social media is a vital and powerful tool. In business, the consumer has never had more authority. WE’VE GOT THE POWER PEOPLE! It is an instrument that allows us, everyday guys and gals, to endorse and promote the content we genuinely like, share information with our friends and show support for those in our community. This is a new personalization of the web. And it can often be used for the greater good. Horaay!

Unfortunately, benefits aside, social media and the act of ‘Liking’ can often be a bit of a double-edged sword when it comes to our personal lives.

Problem: We are becoming a generation of approval junkies.

Now you may turn around and say: Why is this a big deal girrl?

Well it IS a MASSIVE deal because, as much as I love the internet, the hunger for self-recognition over real intimate relationships is effecting the way we, as society, perceive success and find personal self-approval in our day to day lives.

Don’t you feel happy when tonnes of people Like your photo? You know, the one of you looking super hot on that night out in that tight leopard print dress? I mean, you know you look hot. But doesn’t a tiny piece of you want others to legitimize it with their approval?

Don’t you get a bit of a high when 80 people Like that gag you made about marital estrangement? Damn you were funny (and intelligent)!

Of course you do. I certainly like to be Liked. It’s human nature.

But this mentality, of rating and seeking endorsement on the content we share, our personal looks, lives and our character can be dangerous territory. On the internet we are finding ourselves exposed and in this digital age we are sharing more then ever. The act of ‘over-sharing’ seems to be manifesting into a culture that is unhealthy and quite frankly terrifying. Especially for those who are most vulnerable and seeking approval in our society.

I recently read Elizabeth Perle’s shocking and disturbing expose on the ‘Am I Pretty or Ugly?’ phenomenon sweeping Youtube. Teenage girls post videos of themselves and ask the public to rate them out of 10. (Is this really happening?!) The social networking site Ask FM has been linked to 9 teenage suicides in the past 12 months because of cyber bullying.

TEENAGERS LISTEN UP!

Dear Teenager,

This is INSANE to me. Everyone past the age of 20 knows that we all go through an ‘ugly’ teenage phase. Let’s just say it’s God’s way of giving us character and teaching us to develop a sense of humor. You body is going to look weird to you. It probably doesn’t look weird to anyone else. You are going to feel insecure about it. BUT THIS IS NORMAL. Embrace your wierdness, embrace your unique beauty because you are like a beautiful uncut diamond and nature is in the middle of carving prize jewel. DON’T ASK STRANGERS to put value on you – because your value can not be measured. Plus the internet is full of ignorant MUNTERS.

Love Yaz x

What is most upsetting is that we, as a generation, are often actively SEEKING approval. We are asking people to Like us, we are encouraging those around us to openly and publicly accept us and to love us. But the truth is we have no control over what people Like.

And what if we don’t receive the acknowledgement we want? Does that mean that you are inadequate? Does it mean you didn’t look pretty in that photo? Does it mean you weren’t funny in that status? Of course not.

The ‘Like’ isn’t a threat. This isn’t the internet’s problem. This is OUR PROBLEM. We must take the reins on how other people make us feel. And if you are a person who finds that their emotions fluctuate in relation to the number of Likes you get on Facebook then re-evaluate the awesomeness that is you because your happiness and peace should not be affected by it.

When it comes to your personal profile:

1) Don’t let people’s ‘Likes’ effect the way you feel. Be true to yourself. You look hot in that picture and you don’t NEED anyone to validate that for you.

2) Think of the act of posting a status update or sharing content that reflects you and what you care about as an opportunity to spread joy rather than seek approval (so you can get joy). There is a difference.

3) Remember: your Facebook profile only shows a part of you. It is a virtual space that can not possibly capture your beauty, personality, sense of humor, depth and complexity – Your Facebook profile can NOT possibly summerise everything you are and everything you are capable of.

4) Be aware that if you put your raw emotions out there on your Facebook, blog, Twitter you are allowing yourself to be vulnerable. While you can find comfort in community, this can also backfire so check yourself when you are tempted to retaliate (in anger, fear, distress) on a social media platform.

5) If people don’t ‘Like’ you is doesn’t mean they don’t like you. People are busy and have their own lives. Don’t take it personally. As long as you found your status amusing/interesting that’s really all that matters.

6) Social media is not a substitute for personal interaction, BUT is is a great way to stay connected. So why not message an old friend and arrange to go for coffee this week – yum coffee! Let this be a way of forging real relationships rather than purely virtual ones.

So are you affected my social media on a personal level? Do you have a story to share? Were you/are you a teenager affected by the impact of social media? What do you think of the ‘Like’? I’d love to know your thoughts.

Plus here’s a cat picture!

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Have a great week peeps!

x

Tags: Am I pretty or Ugly? cyber bullying Facebook Like social media Youtube

Categories: Fire me up baby! Mirror Mirror: Self Improvement Yazmin Joy