February 10, 2014 - Written by: Yazmin Joy

Brave Heart

The heart. Muscle. Life-line. Metaphor. Ideogram. Hallmark.

The other morning I got the text message. It was a CODE RED, my dear friend, let’s call her Belle*, was having the worst week EVER…

On Friday afternoon on Mayfair’s Avery Row three girls assembled in a small coffee shop. One had brought magazines, another had just been called a c**t by a stranger on the tube and the third, me, had smugly dodged an afternoon of writer’s block and brain-wracking.

As Belle accounted her week from hell, and we all began to share our stories, I couldn’t help thinking how often we underestimate how tough life can be.

(Image via)

Apparently the average person will have their heart broken five times. FIVE TIMES!? I think that’s an underestimation to be honest. What about all the little heart-breaks in life? Do they count?

Yeah the average person might have five horrendous break-ups or experience major rejection five times, but there are other kinds of heartbreak too… Losing a job you love, missing out on a dream opportunity, hurting the people closest to you, suffering loss, saying goodbye, losing faith, adjusting to major changes, witnessing something so painful in someone else’s life you can’t help but be deeply affected by it. Life is full of heartbreak and it’s not all to do with relationships.

As Belle described how her life had spiraled downwards into a pit of despair, two other hearts had stepped in to provide comfort and support. It was shortly after, as I walked along the busy London streets, that I realised that the trick in life is not to avoid heartbreak but to strengthen our hearts so we can face the inevitable challenges ahead. Yes, Brave Heart I’m talkin’ to YOU!!!

So with that in mind, here are three steps to pump up a strong heart:

Grow your heart.

Just like our biological heart circulates blood around our bodies our compassion for others feeds and circulates around our community. It’s infectious to the people we do life with. I went into Starbucks a few weeks back and the guy serving me was so genuinely JOYful! ‘I love my job!’ he exclaimed as he passed me my latte. The dude literally made my day!

And what about friendship? I thought you’d never ask! There is no greater privilege then lending your strength to another when they are feeling shitty. That’s what friends are for… *singing*

Mend your heart.

When your heart gets broken you have two choices, a) let it DESTROY you or b) step into recovery mode i.e. allow yourself the opportunity to heal. And properly heal. Not this bullshit ‘I’ll just divert the pain and not really deal with it’ healing. If you don’t deal with it it will only come back. Like a cold sore.

In ‘Heart Like a Crab’ I likened the broken-heart to a crab who loses it’s leg in a freak fishing accident (bear with me). When a crab loses a limb, given time, it actually grows back stronger and more resilient than before. Voila! Just like the heart, when we take time to mend we become stronger. Heart like a crab gettit!?

Follow your heart.

I don’t know about you but half the time I don’t know what the f*** I’m doing. Some people think I’ve got it together but I know I am just taking one step at a time. Yes we have intellect and should make informed decisions in life but ultimately it’s important to let your heart be your compass when you are lost.

What do I mean? Do what you love. Be with who you love. Fight for the shit you love!

(Image via)

The heart isn’t a weakness. What’s the point in life if you live so cautiously, with such calculated steps, you never experience heartbreak? Heartbreak is a part of life. But our hearts are stronger than we think! Oh yes, and I believe that with all of mine!

Have a great week peeps!

Tags: challenges happiness heart break inner-strength inspiration Life valentines