October 15, 2014 - Written by: Beth Teverson

How to Deal When Your Fear Becomes Reality

Last week, at around 7pm, one of my most fears came true.

I was cycling home, it was dark and raining hard. I managed to slip on the road and before I knew it I was hurtling through the air and into a fence. It was one of those moments where time seems to slow and yet you have no power to prevent what is happening. I crashed into it so hard that both the bike and I became entangled.

As I drew myself back I sat on the side of the road. I was in so much pain I could barely breathe. I checked myself over: Was I broken?

My arms, I would later see, were so badly bruised in the collision that I could barely move them. My right one particularly resembled a sleeve tattoo.

Next, I checked my bike. It seemed okay. I looked around, it was starting to rain hard and I felt broken but I knew needed to get home. I mounted the bike (by some miracle only slightly bent) and managed to cycle the further four miles home.

When I arrived back the adrenaline rush seemed to fade and I cried, I don’t think I’ve ever been in so much pain.

Yet, when the tears had dried I thought back on what had happened.

Since I started cycling it had been such a fear that I would fall off and really hurt myself and here I was having lived through my fear: and survived.

I then began to count my blessings. There were no cars involved, I hadn’t hit my head or hurt my back and perhaps the most encouraging thing: I had carried on.

About two years ago I came across a TedTalk given by the author Karen Thompson Walker that centres on a new way of considering our fears: what they can teach us and what we can learn about them.

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It’s so easy to think of our fears, for them to be played out in our imaginations time and time again.

Fear is, after all, one of the ways we actively use our imaginations. The fears themselves become stories with beginnings, middles and ends.

And our fears don’t always accumulate in physical harm. Some have fears of emotional pain: what will I do if I lose my job? What happens if the love of my life cheats on me? How will I cope when my mother dies?

These are all fears that weave themselves into our everyday lives: fears that I know I have played out in my head over and over again.

What’s intrinsic to Karen Thompson Walker’s lecture is that sometimes our worst fears do come true.

As I set out from work that evening a cycling accident was my worst fear and it came true – but I hadn’t let it stop me from cycling home. After it happened I felt a new sort of strength.

Often, our fears can invent a result that is worse than reality because in reality we cannot predict how we are going to be.

The best we can do is learn to read our fears and be prepared.

I managed to cycle to and from work twice after the accident but after I nearly slipped again I decided that it wasn’t safe to cycle anymore. It wasn’t, however, my fear that stopped me, it was the reality of winter cycling.

Sometimes it’s hard not to let your fears overwhelm you but be conscious of them: what is the beginning, middle and end- and how can you be prepared? After you’ve thought of that I can guarantee – you’ll feel a lot better.

Here is Karen Thompson Walker’s lecture: