November 7, 2014 - Written by: Becky Solomon

Argh! Why Am I So Awkward?!

Arrrgghhh! Why am I so bloody awkward?!?!

I am, unfortunately, one of those people who embarrasses easily. This has come from my younger years, those who have ever been made fun of when you were younger will know that feeling of shame – and it stays with you forever.

The dread, the panic and the sweat come flooding back every times someone merely giggles at a mistake I might have made.

I have such social awkwardness that I don’t know how I make it through the day sometimes.

Speaking in meetings, voicing a particular opinion and realising people are listening and general clumsiness are all things that will make my face burn red and me want to disappear.

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Last week, I experienced this at a new height.

I had met someone new in the office and I had offered to help them with some job applications. After meeting, I started seeing them around the office and making polite acknowledgements.

So, when I saw them talking to a colleague at lunch, they made eye contact which, to me, suggested I should do something more than wave or say ‘hi’. I stupidly said:

‘So you got that job in then?’

They politely gave an answer, but, as soon as the words escaped my mouth, I realised what I had done: outed them in front of a colleague that they were looking for a new job.

Without saying much else, I gave an awkward wave, scurried away and wished that I could disappear instantly. My head was pounding and all I could think was ‘I want vanish’.

Genuinely, I felt that if someone suddenly transported me to Greenland, everything would be better. Instead, I had potentially dropped someone in it about their job hunt who I now had to see around the office almost every day.

Bugger.

Why is it that we get embarrassed? What evolutionary reaction is it?

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There seems nothing useful to me about feeling very much like in that instance, you want to cease existing. So to deal with this human nuisance, I have had a think about ways to get over it:

The moment will pass.

Yes it was horribly awkward but it’s over now and likely that few will remember past next week or even by the next day.

There are unfortunately a few people who like to tease, but nothing that can’t be handled with a – I don’t know why you still go on about that – I thought you would have grown out of that by now.

Share and confide.

The moment I do something embarrassing and I feel hideous about it, the feeling almost a evaporates when I share it with those closest to me.

Laugh about it.

For the moments where you do a spectacular fall and hope the 50 people on the street didn’t see you (they clearly did) – get up, brush yourself off and giggle about it (so everyone knows you’re ok and it’s ok to laugh along). It’s OK.

You might have just provided some entertainment to an audience of strangers.

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Quick embarrassing story:

I once locked myself in a disabled toilet after trying to avoid the massive queue for the ladies when I was in an airport. I got my comeuppance when I was convinced I couldn’t open it and was going to miss my plane. As the seconds ticked by, I got more and more panicky. Logic went out the window and I was wondering how long it would be before services were called to pry the door open.

What actually happened is that I realised I was pushing when I had to pull… I walked out to an applause of people I had to get on the place with.

Yup – mortified.

But as soon as I touched down in England, I felt a certain bliss that I never had to see any of those people again – so what did it matter?

I like to think I developed a small resilience to embarrassment around certain people, the ones I’m particular close to, I feel this will only grow in time until I become unflappable mellow being.

So next time you have a blunder, think of me trying to permanently avoid the one guy in the office or getting stuck in a toilet, and I hope it makes you feel better.

You will survive it! Go be your awkward fabulous self! 😀

If you enjoyed this article, why not check out ‘Old Habits Die Hard. Or Do They?’