January 17, 2012 - Written by: Yazmin Joy

Rude Boi (or Girl)

WARNING: THIS WEEKS ENTRY HAS A LOT OF SWEARING!

If there is one thing I just can’t stand (other than Christmas and very small children) its rudeness. I mean it is so unnecessary. For those of you who work or have worked jobs dealing with the general public will know what a bunch of knob ends people can be. I have worked in a bar for many years now and damn have I encountered a lot of irritatingly obnoxious people.

I once got told I ‘didn’t know who I was’ by this dude who was getting all up in my grill. Hello, I know who I am but the question is ‘do you know who I am?’ I responded. This completely baffled the guy who was blatantly trying to instigate an argument with me. ‘The answer is no, because we’ve never met.’ I continued after he gave a long silence. If you are confused… you can imagine how I was feeling.

The guy then started getting a bit twitchy. He was clearly on crack – well that’s what the police said when his picture appeared on local pub watch.

This was just some of the frequent mindless conversations I have had to have with the general public – and they are just pants.

One time this crusty vile, girl stomped up to the bar from the game machine, slammed a fistful of pound coins down and grunted what I made out to be ‘NOTES’. Just the one word.

‘Haha I believe those are pound coins’ I said light heartedly trying to crack a joke. She just gave me this penetrating glare like I had just crucified Lassie. I continued to count the money into twenty pounds and put them systematically into money bags… I didn’t want to give her the wrong amount now did I. But this is exactly what the crone accused me of.

‘There you go forty-five pounds’, I said smiling professionally and sincerely.

‘I gave you fifty.’

‘No I definitely Forty-five’

‘Fifty’,

‘Forty-five’,

‘Fifty’

…. this pointless conversation went on for a couple of minutes until she demanded to see the manager. When he appeared she pointed her grubby finger at me and snarled ‘She’s taken my money’. RUDE!

Listen lady I ain’t taken your lousy money. My manager, the diplomat, was quick to intercept. ‘I’ll just count the cash in the till shall I? We’ll come and find you if we owe you any extra’ he said to reassure the customer.

Me and crusty both eye balled each other in silence as he took the till away.

About ten minutes later I went up to the office solemnly – Please be right please be right – I thought.

‘Guess what, you were right, she did give you forty-five,’ my manager said.

‘YES (throwing my fist in the air) I KNEW IT. GOD BLESS YOU MONEY BAGS. TAKE THAT YOU CRABBY MISER’ I exclaimed doing a little victory jig.

My manager‘s mouth dropped open. ‘Get back to the bar’.

I strolled through the pub in what felt like slow motion. Damn I was full of hot air.

When I delivered the news to Crusty her face went red. I thought she was going to smash her glass she was gripping it so tight. Suddenly she screwed up her fist, leant back and punched me right in the FACE!!!!! POW POW!

Okay I totally made that last bit up. But she really did look like she was going to hit me. I swiftly returned to the safe side of the bar and revelled in my glory. The thing is if she has just asked me nicely I would have taken the till to the manager myself. I may have even believed her and just given her the five quid because I am a sucker and think that people who speak nicely don’t lie. But her rudeness just made me want to gloat at her mistake.

It’s one thing when it’s the general public being rude but last year I experienced dictatorship on a whole new level. I was helping out back stage at a student led play and damn was it tense.

The crew were f*ing and blinding right left and centre at the poor actors (also students) – whom I’m guessing signed on to have some fun not be verbally battered by techno thespian Gestapo’s. ‘Get your f*ing bags out of here’, ‘Don’t f*ing stand around’, ‘Who ate a f*ing grape’. One girl was storming around like a verbal bulldozer. I wonder if she kisses her mama with that mouth.

Now I am all for using vulgar language. In fact I love swearing. But this was bordering on abuse. The crew actually swore so much that the word ‘fuck’ kind of felt ineffectual. It put me off saying the word altogether. And usually that’s my favourite profanity of them all. Maybe they just didn’t know any other way?

At an old job my boss used to terrorise the staff. Literally chuck barrels at them if they weren’t moving quick enough. RUDE!

I have always been taught by my parents that there are two ways of getting people to work for you.

Is through fear. You just bully em till they do what you want.
And the other is because they want to. i.e through respect. (you can also get people to do stuff for you if you pay them ALOT of money but that sort of seemed less relevant to the point I’m trying to make.)

The director of a world finance company once said: ‘you can lead by the carrot or the stick’.

I don’t know about you but I like carrots, especially in hummus. If someone was so lead me with carrots I would have no qualms about going to Tesco’s myself and buying the hummus out of my own pocket. I’m trying to be a smart ass and use this carrot- hummus analogy as a cool metaphor for getting the best out of people. [NOTE: Just read this back and sounds incredibly wanky but I hope you can see the point I am trying to make.]

I think people who are mind numbingly rude and obnoxious haven’t actually discovered that being kind, tactful, charismatic, inspiring, constructive…. often allows you to get the best out of people. They do their job plus over time.

Once I was driven to tears by a customer when I was at work. When the customer left, this lady who had been in the licensing industry for years, came up to me and told me that the best way to deal with rudeness is to retaliate with politeness. That’s the professional way to deal with it. (Plus I have found it really pisses off the person being rude to you if you play it cool. They just don’t know what to do.)

I have realized that when I get mad, stressed or upset it festers in me for days – my response can make the whole thing worse. I think sometimes people are rude because they think they have some sort of god given right to make others feel like shit. But the reality is it’s up to you whether they have that power or not.

When someone is rude to me I just (try to) let it go immediately and smile. I feel empowered by the altitude of this moral high ground.