Roll Deep
So the other day, due to freak weather conditions and torrential flooding (which is still occurring here in the South), I found myself stuck at Reading Station desperately trying to get home. Soaking wet I had lost the motivation to wipe the running mascara off my face. I was even secretly wishing some wealthy person might see me, take pity on me and adopt me.
EXPOSITION. You know that opening scene to the hit U.S. TV series Girls? The one where the parents tell the main girl they are going to stop funding her life while she struggles in the big city as an aspiring writer, interning at a place (in the hope it might lead to a paying job) only to find that funds are running dramatically low and the dreams of success are becoming increasingly slim. Breath. The whole reason I was watching the show was for escapism. I mean it said ‘comedy’ on Wikipedia. And that’s when it struck me; this isn’t a ‘comedy’, THIS IS MY LIFE!
I am currently living in a windowless room people. A WINDOWLESS ROOM. For the past few days I have eaten nothing but dahl and rice. (FOR LUNCH AND DINNER). I have pretty much run out of money because I have been buying pointless crap, such as a box of Emergency Moustaches – which I thought was hilarious at the time. Sitting in my dark room alone with no food looking ironically like Rich Uncle Pennybags, I was struggling to find the chuckles in my predicament.
WHYYYYYYYY!?
My boss asked me the other day if I actually had parents. I know I look about 14 but I didn’t realise I looked like an orphan now!?
The night before being stuck at this smelly station I had a tarot reading which told me that I was in a transitional phase at the moment – SO TRUE! The reader then aptly confided in me that my draw strongly suggested that I was going to turn lesbian. Then, on my way back to my friends house I got lost in a rough part of town. AND spent a short time wondering around the woods (next to a cemetery) in the dark. As you can imagine, all I wanted was to get home. Home – a place where I would be fed and didn’t have to pay for warmth.
So back at Reading Station. My train had just been cancelled. What the fuck? I did what any sane, normal person would have done when they are vulnerable and utterly miserable; I called my mum.
Me: Hi mum.
Mother: Hi darling, what’s up?
Me: I don’t want to worry you, but I thought you should hear it from me… my train’s been cancelled and I think I have trench foot.
Mother: Okaaaay.
Me: MUM. I don’t think you heard me… I might have trench foot! You’re little girl. TRENCH FOOT!
Mother: (evidently getting irritated) Look Yazmin I am stuck at a station too –
Me: But aren’t you going to say something?
Mother: I don’t know what to say.
Me: How about you’re sorry I might have a flesh rotting condition? My shoes are growing mould. MOULD mother
Mother: Well I don’t know what you want me to do?
Me: I don’t know, tell me everything will be alright?? What the – DON’T YOU EVEN CARE?
My Mother: I’m going to have to shoot, they’re giving a train update. Love you. Bye.
Then the phone went dead. She was gone. And I was alone.
I headed back to London, back to the windowless cave, like a refugee, listening to The Fray, contemplating life and feeling very sorry for myself.
Regret?
Maybe my day was just a big fat metaphor for my life right now. A degree doesn’t guarantee a job. A train ticket doesn’t necessarily mean a train. One day you’re nice and dry the next you have trench foot. Maybe the card reading was true… I am literally in a transitional place right now… I have no idea where I am going and that’s reality. I guess life is unpredictable.
This journey is always going to be subject to detours, delays, twists and turns. I think a lot of graduates are going through this transitional phase right now. While we can’t predict the weather ahead I guess we can choose the soundtrack we travel to. Cable Car started playing on my ipod, I changed the song to Roll Deep and felt much better about it all.
Have a great week peeps.
x
Tags: girls graduates national rail Travel
Categories: Adventureland Rant