December 17, 2013 - Written by: Emily Macdonald

The Dos and Don’ts of Christmas Shopping

Hello everyone! How’s your Christmas shopping going? Have you been organised? or like me, are you still rushing around for those last min gifts? This evening I intend to grab a glass of the old vino and wrap some of the children’s presents, I’m quite excited.

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How often have you said: ‘I do like getting gifts but I LOVE giving at Christmas?’ Everyone loves giving right? It gives you a warm feeling inside when you know you have found the ‘perfect’ item for a friend or family member but, in the season of good will, where can we draw the line between giving for others and giving for ourselves? …Have you ever felt uncomfortable opening gifts? or sensed the pressure looming across the room towards you. Have you found yourself mentally rehearsing your reaction because you’re afraid you’ll look ungrateful? Would you change YOUR gift-giving ways if you knew your recipient felt this way?

Since the age of about 16, when I started giving gifts myself, I have made some truly selfish mistakes and I’d like to share with you, this fortnight, some things I have learnt in the past 10 years….. here are some do’s and don’ts of present giving.

Don’t overspend.

This seems obvious right? But how often have you set a budget only to blow it when you see the ‘ideal gift’? If it truly is the thought that counts then the gift is irrelevant, spending over the odds puts pressure on the recipient to love the item….. of course everyone should be gracious, but somehow blowing your budget means you can subconsciously expect an equal proportion of gratitude. You build yourself up to see their reaction….. You’re excited, waiting for that warm glow to wash over you when they remark on how amazing it is…. You’re chasing your own happy feeling, not theirs.

Do get novelty gifts.

Laughter is a well-known reliever of stress and buying a cheap item, perhaps representative of an inside joke, demonstrates your knowledge and appreciation of that person without the burden of an overspend…. For Valentine’s Day I try and get my husband the cheapest tackiest present I can find (normally one of those oversized teddies with a big heart or a truly hideous pair of boxers) this tells him ‘I love you’ but doesn’t even attempt to touch on the depth of my emotions….. After all, 50 red roses and a box of luxury chocolates can’t convey that either, so why spend £100 when you can spend £3? In the past my sister and I have given nostalgic gifts from our childhood, that film we watched 20 times in a week and the CD soundtrack from a musical we went to see, memories are priceless!

Don’t try and mould someone with your gifts.

Ah I’m sure us women are primarily guilty of doing this when we buy our men clothes…. I know, from talking with girly friends how many of us celebrate our ability to transform our men into style icons with a few choice outfits….. ‘he looks so much better than when I first met him’ and, how many times has a women commented on underwear chosen by their other halves ‘my God, he wants me to be a hooker/virginal/dominatrix’ oh the horror that we might not be good enough as we are. Now, I will continue to buy my husband clothes (I can’t help it) I will however, advise you to be careful about the message you’re sending with the gifts you give….

Don’t buy your OH a book on how to express his emotions more, don’t buy your father a hobby starter set because you think he needs to relax… or your sporty daughter a sewing kit because you think she needs to be more girly…….

Do ask people what they would like.

Most people are gracious enough to suggest items with varying budgets and styles thus allowing you the enjoyment of picking one out for them. It may not be as fun as a surprise gift but at least you know they really want/need it. No one wants to think of their present being the one which is passed on or shoved to the back of a wardrobe. While cutlery may not be what YOU had in mind, it’s about them remember… how often have you suggested presents only for someone to dismiss them as not ‘exciting enough’….. I would be bloody chuffed with a new cutlery set…. I really need one and it’s not something I want to buy myself.

Don’t give because you know they have one for you.

We’ve all been there, when someone turns up with a present and you mumble something about not having been shopping yet or the bloody post office has lost theirs. A gift offered out of true affection is not given to receive, so, a simple ‘we haven’t got you one this year I’m afraid’ won’t cause offence to a genuine friend. Last year we had hardly any money (with a baby on the way) and we warned a few people beforehand that we were not doing gifts this year. My husband surprised me with a little item and even though I hadn’t one to return I felt no obligation to him. There’s nothing worse than feeling as though you have to spend money which you don’t have…. People who put a price on Christmas aren’t worth your friendship…. Gifts do not equal love!

Do go homemade.

My mother always reminds me of the time when I was 10 years old and I made her a card for mother’s day and cycled into the local town to get her some cheap daffodils. I know she appreciated it far more than the tacky ornaments and teddies which succeeded it. Family are worth your time, spoiling your children with technology or the latest must have toy does not make up for not spending enough quality time with them, and while it may distract them for a few hours, the hoovering can always wait.

I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas!!! Don’t feel pressured for a perfect day; with perfect food and perfect gifts…..just rejoice in the perfect company of those you love!!

It can be so easy to get carried away with the Christmas card image, but at the end of the day, when you’re fat and full in your new Xmas jumper, it’s the people beside you that matter not the gifts under the tree!!!