6 Things NOT to Do When Networking

Oh the joys of networking! If you are, like me, aspiring to make connections in the entertainment world, you will have gone to many a schmoozing event.

In an industry where it’s all about ‘who you know’, being a struggling writer in the city has its advantages, I guess. Yes, I do consider it ‘work’. I don’t particularly feel qualified to give people tips on HOW to network, but I am learning quite a lot about HOW NOT to interact with people that you want to work with.

Here are 6 things NOT to do when networking that I have learnt by a) doing myself b) observing in others:

Talk too much. 

I don’t know about you, but I luuuuurrrvveee to talk. But guess what? Turns out, at a networking event everyone wants to talk – ABOUT THEMSELVES. Everyone has an awesome, incredible, one-of-a-kind product/business/script/story/project that is just going to go BIG baby. Fucking HUGE!

What have I learnt? Stop talking so much!

I’ve discovered that in order to be a networking pro, the trick is to do twice the amount of listening as talking.

(Image via)

You already know the sound of your own voice. If you listen to someone else, you might just leave with more experience and wisdom than you came with. Also, when you talk all the time, you are demobilising your bullshit detector.

There is a real good reason we have two ears and one mouth. Listen and nod people, listen and nod. Ask questions and, if you want to spice it up a bit, then why not engage in a friendly debate.

Insult the people around you.

DON’T DO THIS! A friend told me the other day that she went to a networking event at business school where she witnessed a first year comment on the aging appearance of a potential employer. ‘Corrrr blimey. You look a lot older than 38; it must be the stress of the job!’ OH. MY. GAWD. Maybe it was nerves that caused this sporadic professional self-crucifixion. When faced with a foot in mouth situ, I’d just soldier on and then go cry in the toilet later.

(Image via)

Tip: Don’t slag off your employer. In fact JUST DON’T SLAG OFF ANYONE. If you have something unsavory to say about someone, then go home and call your mum. Don’t be the asshole.

Get drunk.

Yesss freeeee booooooozee! No. Restrain yourself, you socially starved writer. You are not at Brixton Jamm!

Last year, I went to a networking night and, being the biggest lightweight this side of Canary Wharf, I began laughing uncontrollably at my own jokes, broke out into dance and then walked into a glass door. Cute? Nooooot realllllly. I think I just annoyed everyone. So now I line my stomach with something with sustenance, like a very, very large potato (it absorbs more – don’t quote me – I’m not a doctor) and stick to one alcoholic beverage at most (as apparently I can’t handle two).

It also took me double the time to get home because I got on the wrong bloody train and travelled half and hour in the wrong direction. FML.

(Image via)

Start with the pitch. 

Don’t kill it! Work on building the relationship first, and pitch later. That is all.

(Image via)

Go with a posy.

Got yo’ clique? Got yo’ crew? That’s awesome if you are entering a street dance competition. But maybe try leaving your mates at home and goin’ solo at your next networking event.

Sometimes networking on your own is BETTER. I always make more contacts when I go to an event on my own; in fact, I would go as far to say that I prefer to network alone because I have more chance to talk to people and put myself out there.

(Image via)

Yes. That is Blazin’ Squad.

Take yourself too seriously.

Take yourself seriously, but don’t take yourself seriously. Seriously. Are you confused? I was too when this thought first occurred to me. But hear me out… you must be serious about your business and your objectives, but don’t compromise your character, sense of humor and ability to connect with people on a personal level.

A person who demonstrates an ability to work well with people is on to a winner; i.e. soft ‘social’ skills in this situation seem more important than the hard, tech skills, because in reality you often get the promotion based on your connections. Unfair. Welcome to the world.

(Image via)

If you really want to get people’s attention, I have also discovered that wearing a bright orange jumper, having mad hair and/or putting on a regency hat will make you more likely to engage in colourful conversations with creatives. But please don’t say I told you that. It worked once, for someone else. Not me.

If you do a solitary profession, like writing, you might want to take advantage of the opportunity of talking to someone other than yourself or the neighbour’s cat, which is probably why I go to so many networking events in the first place. That and the fact I fucking love it!

(Image via)

Got some networking tips? Send them my way!

Have a great week peeps.

Tags: business entertainment industry humour networking success writing

Categories: Mirror Mirror: Self Improvement Wise up! Yazmin Joy