July 5, 2014 - Written by: Becky Solomon

How To Face The Miserables

Some people are shits aren’t they?

I would like to say that this isn’t now I truly feel. I’d like to give them the benefit of the doubt. I’d like to say maybe it’s that we’re too similar, or our personalities clash, or maybe they are having a bad day.

But let’s face it, some people are deep down miserable, have no concept of empathy and want everyone else to be as miserable as them.

Y’know the opposite of these people?

People who are genuinely happy for other people’s happiness.

Like your Mum. If you’ve just got a new job, or new house or something else incredibly exciting, chances are, your Mum might be even more chuffed than you are.

Mr and Mrs Miserable on the other hand, will point out every problem with your good news, without even saying congratulations.

They just can’t be happy for us. They will take a second to digest our hugely important news, then regurgitate some barely tangible achievement of their own to smear all over ours. They cannot give us the floor, not even for one second.

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And they certainly won’t accept your news without a detailed plot of how flawed your exciting news is.

Buying a house? It’s the wrong time to be looking!

Got a new job? Well, how much are they paying you?

Thinking of going away somewhere exciting? Don’t bother – they’ve been before you and already know everything so it’s not worth you going.

They poke holes of misery into everyone’s moments of joy.

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Maybe there’s something else going on here… Is it too much to assume that they might be jealous? Or perhaps they just enjoy a challenging conversation. Either way, Mr and Mrs Miserable out there – you are shits.

So what do we do with these people? We take a deep breath, we pause for a second, we don’t take it personally and we move on.

I encountered this recently, when somebody was actually trying to argue with me about toilet roll. When I realised they just had to be right about something, I took a breath and then said nothing else and let the other person think I agreed with them. Yes, you were right. In fact, this toilet roll is very important, you were right in every way about it. How foolish of me to think otherwise!

So my advice to all those who have to deal with Mr and Mrs Miserable, who want to rain on your parade… Humour them!

Here are a few responses commonly offered by The Miserables:

How can you afford that?
It will never work!
They won’t last.
Are you sure that’s a good idea?
Actually, I’ve heard that it’s not very nice there.

If you hear someone using these to piss on your bonfire, think of the most ridiculous answer you can think of and say it with the straightest face possible. Pretend like they may actually have a point and that your good news isn’t so good after all. This can only serve to make them feel a bit warm and fuzzy, because they like people to know that they’re right. When you agree with them, their misery will start to dissolve; they will have to think of other ways to live up to their names.

My message to The Miserables out there:

Don’t be a shit – learn to celebrate other people’s successes; it might just bring you aliljoy!

If you enjoyed this article, why not check out ‘5 Things You Can Learn From An Afternoon With Your Grandparents‘?