MAN-TOX: The 10 Step Break-Up Recovery Plan

Scenario: you’re boyfriend has just broken up with you (or maybe you are the one that did the breaking up). You are in a state of shock. You can’t think straight. It’s actually over. There is a massive lump in your throat and your feel like crying, or maybe you are crying, right now – AS YOU READ THIS!

This isn’t about you being bitter, it’s about you feeling better.

Believe me, I know the next 48 hours are going to be tough. But don’t fear girl-friend because I am here to give you ten tried and tested tips to minimize the damage and help you get back on track.

1. If you need to cry, CRY. It’s your right damn it! 

It has been scientifically proven that emotional tears aid the release of toxins and hormones from the body, helping alleviate stress and ultimately making you feel better. It’s definitely better out than in. So let it all out my friend!

2. Don’t isolate yourself.

In these first few hours after the break-up you are going to be vulnerable so don’t be afraid to call your friends over. After the initial shock has subsided you can start working on PROJECT YOU, but until then you need a hot chocolate and a friendly face to remind you that everything will be okay. I promise you wont regret it. That’s what friends are for!

3. Pamper yourself NOW.

So you’ve have a good cry, next up… hot bath, face-pack, mani-, pedi-, massage… this is the time to raid your beauty cupboard. Make your personal space a safe haven where you can relax. Invest in some essential oils. Lavender, Ylang Ylang, Tangerine and Geranium are good for stress and have calming qualities. Wash that man right out of your hair! 

4. DON’T get drunk. 

Some people might not agree with this one – each to their own BUT just remember alcohol is a depressant and will probably make you feel a million times worse, so my advice: don’t even go there sister!

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5. Take one task at a time. 

Don’t worry too much about tomorrow. Just take each task as it comes. Breakfast. Shower.  Get dressed. Meeting. Grocery shopping…

6. By night: don’t take your phone to bed with you. 

Remove the temptation of making those whiney, weepy late night calls to your ex by dusting off your alarm clock and giving your phone to a friend to keep for the night. If you are alone then turn off your phone and put it in a box on top of the fridge.

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7. By day: phone a friend. 

Okay, in the next 48 hours and beyond you are going to get the impulse to phone your ex and tell him you are making a mistake. JUST DON’T DO IT. Getting back together might be the easiest option right now, but it’s not necessarily the right one. There were REASONS you broke up the first time!

Remember: you are emotional and acting on impulse rather than rationality. You haven’t had the time or clarity to think about what you want and how you want to handle this situation.

Solution: find someone other than you ex, that you trust, who you can call as a substitute (just until you get your head together). I called my mum!

8. Sign out of Facebook. 

Photographs, wall comments and tags on Facebook can only ever give part of the picture. And right now, the last thing you need to see is your ex-boyfriend’s virtual activity. Hide him from from your mini feed. If this isn’t helpful BLOCK HIM. I know it sounds harsh but it’s for your own sanity. If that feels too abrupt send him a private message telling him you just need time to think.

9. Write an email and don’t send it! 

This doesn’t work for everyone, but I find it cathartic. Draft an email (in a word document or on paper) to your ex saying exactly how you feel right now. Think stream of consciousness. When you are done stash it away. In years you will read it and it will remind you how you came out the other side a stronger more resilient person.

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10. Let’s get physical. 

Whether it’s baking cakes, playing a game of cards or going for a jog – take the edge off by doing a physical activity to boost your endorphins and distract your mind. Fresh air and sunshine is a bonus.

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While I may not be a doctor or a scientist or a therapist – I am a girl who has been where you are and come out the other side. While these are my guidelines, everyone is different so just do what works for you! Mwah!

Just remember two things. First, you WILL be okay. Secondly, time WILL heal you. 

If you are going through a break-up I hope you found my suggestions useful.

To all, have a great week peeps!

Tags: advice break-ups dating humour relationships

Categories: Empowerment: Man! I feel Like a Woman! Love & Relationships Wise up! Yazmin Joy